Xmas outrage as JD Vance says turkey ‘not good’

Every year, the right wing get more and more het up about the idea that ‘the left have cancelled Christmas‘. This has never happened of course, and what it usually boils down to is that a single product didn’t have the word ‘Christmas’ on it, ignoring the fact it’s in the middle of a massive Christmas display with the word ‘Christmas’ all over it.

Tesco under fire for listing Christmas trees as ‘evergreen trees’https://t.co/9426riG7Hq

— GB News (@GBNEWS) November 17, 2025

What you won’t hear from the likes of GB News is that the real anti-Christmas freak is none other than American vice president JD Vance:

Vance: Who really likes — be honest with yourself, who really likes Turkey? You are all full of shit. Everybody who raised your hands… Turkey doesn’t actually taste that good. Chicken is good all the time. pic.twitter.com/4TDDHAihUv

— Acyn (@Acyn) November 26, 2025

That sound you can hear is Jesus turning in his grave.

JD Vance—Freak behaviour

In his speech, Vance said the following:

Think about Turkey. Who really likes, be honest with yourselves, who really likes Turkey? You’re all full of shit. Everybody who raised your hand, I know, think about it. And here’s how I know that every single one of you who raised your hand is lying to me.

This is sicko behaviour, and the next time he comes to the UK, the British right needs to call it out.

Vance continued:

How many times do you roast an 18-pound turkey just randomly?

Good point; it is odd that people don’t have a meal which costs a small fortune and takes days to prepare on a whim — well noticed — we can see why you’re the second most powerful man in the world.

Later in the same speech, Vance said:

We cook this gigantic American bird, and we do all kinds of crazy things to make it taste good.

Another good point — you do have to do ‘crazy things’ to make food taste good, don’t you. In the UK, we call this ‘cooking’.

Vance added:

I’m actually going to deep fry a turkey myself tomorrow. And look, here’s the thing. If you’ve got to deep fry something to make it taste good, it probably isn’t that good.

This comment probably won’t go down well in the White House given that Trump makes a big deal of his Scottish heritage.

Reasons to be thankful

We should note that Vance was talking about Thanksgiving, which is the day when Americans have their Christmas dinner (they’re not very bright, bless them).

While this article is obviously tongue in cheek, the point is this; if you look for reasons to say ‘Christmas has been cancelled’, you can find them. The purpose of Christmas isn’t to force yourself into a tizzy over Tesco, though, it’s to eat too much food and be merry.

At the same time, if you do want to get mad at Tesco, there are plenty of places to start:

FUN FACT: Supermarket giants like Tesco and Asda increased their operating profits last year by 66%.

We’re not in a ‘cost of living crisis’ – we’re in a ‘cost of GREED crisis’.

— Canary (@TheCanaryUK) October 19, 2025

Featured image via the Canary