George Osborne found slumped in Camden pub after 48 hour post-Brexit disappearance (IMAGE)

Kerry-anne Mendoza

After a 48 hour disappearance following the Leave vote in the EU Referendum, UK Chancellor George Osborne has been found slumped in a Camden pub.

Mr Osborne had not been seen in public since the night of the EU vote, and the subsequent resignation of his long term political ally David Cameron. Mr Osborne was slated to have replaced Cameron as Prime Minister in the event of a Remain vote. But in the wake of the choice to Brexit, his political career lay in tatters. Having released just two tweets since, concerns were growing about where on earth the Chancellor had absconded.

Theresa Fogg, landlady of the Twisted Thistle pub in Camden, told Off The Perch:

Start your day with The Canary News Digest

Fresh and fearless; get excellent independent journalism from The Canary, delivered straight to your inbox every morning.

I didn’t realise it was him at first, what with the bermuda shorts and vest he was wearing. It was only when he started swearing at the telly when that SNP woman (Nicola Sturgeon) came on this afternoon that I put two and two together.”

Mrs Fogg put a call in to Conservative Headquarters immediately, but by the time his team arrived, the pub was filled with press. Mr Osborne was slumped over at a corner table, the remnants of his lager shandy soaking into his vest.

The men from Conservative HQ carried the Chancellor into a waiting limousine, and promptly screeched off in the direction of Westminster.

Blokey McBloke-Face, a Twisted Thistle regular, reportedly had a conversation with the Chancellor earlier in the day. He says:

The bloke was gutted to be honest. He kept banging his fist on the table talking about broken promises and how he was so close but now it was all over. He sounded proper devastated about the whole thing.

Boris came on. They replayed that speech of his from the morning after. Osborne just loses it. Walks up to the telly, spits at it, then tears up a beer mat. Well, tries to like. It was quite a sturdy mat like, so he just sort of twisted it a bit in the end. But you could see the rage in his eyes.

Mr Osborne is now believed to be back at Number 11 with his family. There is no further news on his future as Chancellor.

Featured Image created by OTP

Since you're here ...

We know you don't need a lecture. You wouldn't be here if you didn't care.
Now, more than ever, we need your help to challenge the rightwing press and hold power to account. Please help us survive and thrive.

The Canary Support

Comments are closed