Theresa May admits she was just kidding, and will announce her real cabinet later

New prime minister, Theresa May, threw off her soulless ice queen image and gave the whole country a good laugh on Wednesday evening, with a series of hilariously satirical cabinet announcements. It’s expected that Thursday will see a return to business as usual, with a mixture of backstabbers, careerists and hopelessly underqualified nonentities filing through the door of Number 10.
In particular, pretending to make Boris Johnson Foreign Secretary stood out as the moment when May struck comedy gold. Who’d have thought that the former rather dour (and frankly a bit scary) home secretary would be able to scale such absurd heights of nonsense?
The BBC’s political Duracell bunny Laura K was heard simpering that maybe some of David Cameron’s legendary stand-up acumen was still hanging about like a ghost in the Downing Street hallway. Off The Perch is not so sure. Cameron’s jokes were about as funny as cramp, whereas May is operating on a rarefied level of funny/not-funny that would draw appreciative mumbles from Stewart Lee.
When all’s said and done, May will probably settle for putting someone less ‘characterful’ but vaguely diplomatic at the Foreign Office. The cruel joke on George Osborne will be forgiven and he’ll be wheeled back in (once he’s recovered) to spend more time with his friends as business secretary.
BREAKING NEWS: Off The Perch has just received word, on very good authority, that May was being serious and that Johnson actually is the new foreign secretary. We’re doomed. Expect an imminent war with Kenya.
Featured image via Wikimedia
Read on...
We know everyone is suffering under the Tories - but the Canary is a vital weapon in our fight back, and we need your support
The Canary Workers’ Co-op knows life is hard. The Tories are waging a class war against us we’re all having to fight. But like trade unions and community organising, truly independent working-class media is a vital weapon in our armoury.
The Canary doesn’t have the budget of the corporate media. In fact, our income is over 1,000 times less than the Guardian’s. What we do have is a radical agenda that disrupts power and amplifies marginalised communities. But we can only do this with our readers’ support.
So please, help us continue to spread messages of resistance and hope. Even the smallest donation would mean the world to us.