‘Theresa’s on fire’ boast people who hate truth/answers/non gag-based politics

Support us and go ad-free

When Theresa May was coronated, many people were worried about how she’d behave as the UK’s accidental leader – namely because of her awful f*cking track record.

Thankfully, however, Ms May came out fighting, and heroically claimed that she’s actually in favour of the United Kingdom working for everyone – even those people she has historically worked tirelessly against.

The mainstream media (MSM) collectively sighed with relief at this pronouncement, because why would a politician lie about something so obviously important, and who are they to question what a Prime Minister says in public?

Since then, Theresa May has gone from strength-to-strength – most notably so when she made her first appearance on Mock the Week.

Or was it Prime Minster’s Questions?

Which is the topical news programme with all the gags and hooting laughter?

Anyone?

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

Anyway – whichever it was – Theresa showed the unflappability of Thatcher, the comic timing of Cameron, and the crooked-mouthed hostility of a tipsy Russian Empress – especially when she put that oik Corbyn in his place – saying that:

He calls it austerity. I call it living within our means. He talks about austerity, but it is actually about not saddling our children and grandchildren with debt.

A lesser woman may have balked at the fact that she was an integral part of the government which created more debt than every Labour government combined, but not this PM. Theresa knows in her heart-of-hearts* that Labour are the ones who are the debt-deniers, and she’s not afraid to shout about it. Or at least not for as long as the MSM are happy to repeat it anyway.

[*Although obviously we should point out that ‘heart-of-hearts’ is a metaphorical term, as we all know that the primary organs which Tories possess are actually best described as ‘bile sluices.’]

Theresa also went on to reiterate the heady claims that her appointment is a kick-in-the-shins for the British patriarchy:

In my years here in this house I’ve long heard the Labour party asking what the Conservative party does for women – well – *PAUSES FOR LAUGHTER – POSSIBLY IMITATES A GIBBON* – just keeps making us Prime Minister.

A lesser woman (ie all women) would have felt that her long career of being anti-people disqualifies her from being classed as a feminist – especially as 50% of all people are in fact women. She may also have found herself giving credence to those who said that a female Tory PM is as beneficial for all women as is a shark for all fish.

What’s already clear is that Prime Minister May isn’t afraid to speak the hard truths – even if said hard truths are neither particularly true nor hard to profess – essentially as they’re all just slightly reworded versions of the rarely-challenged guff that Cameron spouted.

Whether she’ll be as successful as Cameron or Thatcher remains to be seen, however, as although they collectively set the bar so low that you could use it for a pixies’ pole-vaulting competition, I think that we are all now slowly coming to appreciate that things can always – always – get worse.

Featured image via YouTube

Support us and go ad-free

We need your help to keep speaking the truth

Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.

Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.

We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.

In return, you get:

* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop

Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.

With your help we can continue:

* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do

We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?

The Canary Support us

Comments are closed