Boris Johnson made to dance for all the world leaders he offended [VIDEO]

Support us and go ad-free

When Boris Johnson was made Foreign Secretary, most rational people thought:


Although it seemed illogical to appoint a braying, jingoistic racist to the post – ie the sort man who is so universally offensive that he’s probably set our entry to the Galactic Federation of Planets back by millennia – Off the Perch can now reveal that Prime Minister May has actually made the smartest post-Brexit move imaginable.

It’s widespread knowledge that the world wants to punish us for our decision to split from the EU, and it’s also widely known that when it comes to Boris, the leaders of the free-world have more bones to pick than a rat in a KFC mega-bucket.

What Theresa has done is arrange it so that Boris will be sent abroad for our foreign friends to have their sh*ts and giggles with him, and in return they’ll f*ck us over a lot less than they originally intended to.

Although most of the world leaders agree that they’ll need some time to think up some really depraved stuff for him to do, they did all meet up last night to make Boris do the BoJo-boogie for them at a breakfast-buffet/strip joint.

 The following is a video of said event, and viewers with heart conditions will be relieved to know that it cuts off just before Boris was made to strip down to his y-fronts, and the attending politicians threw brown sauce, scrambled eggs, and forks at him.

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

 Although some have complained that making a man act like an unrestrained ape is inhumane and indecent, it is essentially what Boris has spent his entire career training himself to do, so f*ck him.

It’s also been argued that having Boris humiliated humiliates the entire country, but seeing as how we collectively allowed Johnson, Cameron, and Farage to lower the tone of UK politics so thoroughly that Donald Trump began to look like he had the gravitas of Nelson Mandela, maybe humiliation is what we deserve?

It’s certainly what Boris deserves anyway.


Featured image via Flickr / Flickr

Support us and go ad-free

We need your help to keep speaking the truth

Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.

Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.

We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.

In return, you get:

* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop

Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.

With your help we can continue:

* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do

We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?

The Canary Support us

Comments are closed