Brexit Tories bring back Age of Empire with new Royal transport

Support us and go ad-free

Prominent Brexit Tories, including Boris Johnson and Michael Gove, have decided that nothing says ‘Good old-fashioned British values’ like toadying up to the Royal Family. And nothing says ‘pointless, gratuitous, sick-inducing, over-the-top Royal extravagance’ like a Royal Yacht. And of course nothing says ‘Brexit’ quite as much as reheating mid-20th century jingoism.

In fact, some commentators who’ve been wrestling with the thorny question: “If Brexit means Brexit, what does Brexit mean?” are beginning to suspect that the answer is: “Brexit means giving the Queen her boat back”.

But of course these are difficult times for splashing the cash. Unlike in 1953 when the nation was awash with all the money saved by setting up the NHS and building hundreds of thousands of council houses, the UK economy is now feeling the inevitable pinch caused by spending hardly anything on public services for six years.

As a result, plans for any new form of Royal transport have had to be revised accordingly. Refitting the previous Britannia is a non-starter because the Royal Navy doesn’t have any sailors capable of steering a boat that isn’t compatible with their iPads.

Plans do exist for a new design, which would be specially tailored to the modern demands of basically being a floating arms fair. However, such a scheme would see the yacht funded from the private sector and it’s unclear how keen Liz and Phil would be on a Royal Yacht BAE Systems, or even a Royal Yacht Britannia Building Society.

In all probability, the Yachtmania will last as long as most of the other Brexit promises and be gradually reduced to the level of subsidised travel on the Thames Clipper river bus for senior and mid-ranking Royals. William and Kate will be OK, of course as they can always rely on helpful locals to carry them around.

Featured image via Flickr

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

Support us and go ad-free

Do your bit for independent journalism

Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.

We need you to help out, if you can.

When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.

You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.

In return you get:

  • Advert free reading experience
  • Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
  • 20% discount from our shop


The Canary Fund us

Comments are closed