Following a reshuffle in which Jeremy Corbyn appointed even more women to top posts than last year (when only 50%+ of cabinet roles went to women), Jess Phillips has been forced to look elsewhere for hints of sexism.
It didn’t take long for the Labour firebrand to find something, however, and the following is a transcript of a long rant that she subjected several passengers to on a local bus:
Did you know that Jeremy Corbyn has only ever married 3 women? He’s like a hundred years old or something; he could have married loads of women in that time. I think it’s really telling that brocialist Jeremy only gave a chance to three, if you ask me.
“BUT WE DIDN’T ASK YOU”, several of the passengers shouted.
Oy, you horrible d*ckhead. You don’t get to talk to me like that, you c*nt. I’m a f*cking politician, you bag of sh*t. F*ck off!
“SURELY IF YOU WERE A POLITICIAN, YOU’D HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN GO AROUND ENGAGING IN RANDOM AND FRUITLESS ARGUMENTS WITH THE PEOPLE YOU SHOULD THEORETICALLY BE TRYING TO WIN OVER AS VOTERS?”
Right, that’s you blocked, spunkface.
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At this point, Jess produced a sack from her bag, and she used it to cover the face of the passenger who had so rudely failed to agree with her.
Anyway, like I was saying. Did you know that 95% of all Corbyn’s postal workers have been men? Did you know that all three of his sons are boys? Did you know that Jeremy is in fact a man? IT MAKES MY F*CKING BLOOD BOIL!
Someone else piped up at this point, and suggested that although the quantity of women in public office was vital for the sake of visibility and normalisation, perhaps the quality of appointments was also important. They then suggested that the many feminists supporting Corbyn imply that his proposals do on average pass the feminism quality test. You know – in a way that Owen “smash her back on her heels” Smith never did – i.e. the guy that Phillips actually supported.
I WILL BLOCK YOU BACK TO THE STONE AGE, YOU PERISHED HOT WATER-BOTTLE OF PISS!
Unfortunately for Jess and the other passengers, the latest person she “blocked” happened to be the bus driver, and so the vehicle promptly crashed. Which you might think will make Jess a bit less quick to block in the future. But it probably won’t.
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