Donald Trump to ban Mexican Wave at sporting events, and replace it with this [IMAGE]

Support us and go ad-free

Donald Trump has announced a ban on fans performing the Mexican Wave at sporting events. The President-elect of the United States has announced that the wave, in which people sit and stand in time to create the appearance of a tidal wave, is history. From now on, everyone’s doing The Trump™.

Large screens at sports stadiums and concert venues – any location in which a Mexican Wave could possibly break out – will show details of the new wave to fans. The Donald has demanded that all participants follow these steps:

  1. Stand in unison.
  2. Take a hand, and sweep it sideways across an imaginary comb-over (or a real one if you have it).
  3. Push the hand forward at shoulder-level, until arm is at full extension, with the palm open and facing the ground.
  4. Raise the extended arm 45 degrees upward.
  5. Shout: “TRUMP”.

Taking back America

Trump spokesman Dick Moove told Off The Perch:

We’re taking back America. For too long, foreign influences have eaten away at everything that makes us great. French fries, taco stands on every corner… bagels! We need to return to the real America.

The Trump™ is authentically American. You won’t have seen it anywhere else in the world. Totally new. 100% American.

The Trump transition team has released a handy visual guide to performing The Trump™, so Americans can get in plenty of practice ahead of his inauguration on 20 January 2017:

000001-trump-salute

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Wikipedia

Support us and go ad-free

Do your bit for independent journalism

Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.

We need you to help out, if you can.

When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.

You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.

In return you get:

  • Advert free reading experience
  • Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
  • 20% discount from our shop

 

The Canary Fund us

Comments are closed