Donald Trump has announced a ban on fans performing the Mexican Wave at sporting events. The President-elect of the United States has announced that the wave, in which people sit and stand in time to create the appearance of a tidal wave, is history. From now on, everyone’s doing The Trump™.
Large screens at sports stadiums and concert venues – any location in which a Mexican Wave could possibly break out – will show details of the new wave to fans. The Donald has demanded that all participants follow these steps:
- Stand in unison.
- Take a hand, and sweep it sideways across an imaginary comb-over (or a real one if you have it).
- Push the hand forward at shoulder-level, until arm is at full extension, with the palm open and facing the ground.
- Raise the extended arm 45 degrees upward.
- Shout: “TRUMP”.
Taking back America
Trump spokesman Dick Moove told Off The Perch:
We’re taking back America. For too long, foreign influences have eaten away at everything that makes us great. French fries, taco stands on every corner… bagels! We need to return to the real America.
The Trump™ is authentically American. You won’t have seen it anywhere else in the world. Totally new. 100% American.
The Trump transition team has released a handy visual guide to performing The Trump™, so Americans can get in plenty of practice ahead of his inauguration on 20 January 2017:
Featured image via Wikipedia
We need your help to keep speaking the truth
Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.
Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.
We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.
In return, you get:
* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop
Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.
With your help we can continue:
* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do
We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?