As a result of President Obama’s cowardly refusal to go full-on Nazi, the Trumpenführer has stepped in to do what it takes. Namely to produce an alphabetical register of Muslims, which will prevent terror…
…for some reason.
And when asked if his register would be any different to Hitler’s register of Jews, Trump bravely shrugged:
Yet it’s obvious that a comprehensive list of American Muslims is the only way to defeat Daesh (Isis/Isil). Despite the group not living in America. Or that Americans who want to perpetrate terror may be smart enough to:
- Not sign up to the register.
- Not announce that they plan to commit atrocities when they do.
Off The Perch spoke to one of the geniuses behind this proposal:
I’ll tell you where I got the idea from. I was looking at a phone book, and I thought ‘jeez, these things are really thin now’. And then I remembered that there wasn’t all this terror back when phone books were a lot fatter. Or at least not at home, anyway. And I thought that maybe if we produced a big ol’ phone book of Muslims, maybe that would put an end to all the terrorist attacks? That seems like a logical connection, right?
Read on...Support us and go ad-free
It also means that if there is an attack, we can call them all one by one and ask ‘Did you do it? Did you do it? Did you do it?’ Because one of them’s bound to say yes, right? Unless they’re not a complete moron.
Some critics have pointed out that terrorist suspects are already monitored. And as such, making it necessary to monitor every single Muslim will only serve as an unnecessary distraction. Kind of like if you’re trying to catch a fish, and you make your job ‘easier’ by filling the pond with a few million fish that you don’t want to catch.
There’s also a question of how people will be deemed acceptable for inclusion on this registry. Will it be people who identify as Muslims? Or will it be anyone who looks – oh, I don’t know – not so white, maybe?
Because if it’s the latter, people really need to stop pretending this isn’t an ethnic thing.
Featured image via WikimediaSupport us and go ad-free
We know everyone is suffering under the Tories - but the Canary is a vital weapon in our fight back, and we need your support
The Canary Workers’ Co-op knows life is hard. The Tories are waging a class war against us we’re all having to fight. But like trade unions and community organising, truly independent working-class media is a vital weapon in our armoury.
The Canary doesn’t have the budget of the corporate media. In fact, our income is over 1,000 times less than the Guardian’s. What we do have is a radical agenda that disrupts power and amplifies marginalised communities. But we can only do this with our readers’ support.
So please, help us continue to spread messages of resistance and hope. Even the smallest donation would mean the world to us.