UKIP downgraded from a ‘political party’ to an ‘aggravated shindig’

Support us and go ad-free

Before the EU Referendum, many Brits were worried that a Leave vote would result in UKIP becoming emboldened. And yet one key thing has prevented this from happening. Namely, the absolute clowns the party employs.

As such, the Supreme Court has ruled that the group can no longer call itself a ‘political party’. Which technically means it’s now an ‘aggravated shindig’. A category which many are pointing out is all it ever was in the first place.

This will be of little concern to Farage, of course. Because he was always something of a ‘one-man-racket’ anyway.


UKIP was on its last legs already. Those legs being bowed and in plaster casts – its feet in roller skates and on thin ice. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, it’s now facing a probe from the UK Electoral Commission. Because apparently, it’s been misspending the EU funding it received. Which may at least prove the UKIP theory that some EU politicians are corrupt.


In terms of the balancing act the Kippers are attempting, this could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Although UKIP would, of course, have nothing to do with such a foreign dromedary. So imagine instead a Shetland pony with a prosthetic hump attached to it.

The party’s over

As mentioned, UKIP was stumbling towards oblivion before the prospect of financial ruin. And the highlights of this stagger towards obscurity have included:

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free
  • Nigel Farage fleeing the country to interfere with the sovereign affairs of a former UK colony.
  • Diane James becoming leader, only to realise that being leader means everyone recognises how awful you are.
  • Steven Woolfe going around telling everyone he’s the cock of UKIP, only to accidentally expose his inability to take a punch.
  • Breitbart London editor-in-chief Raheem Kassam having a brief run at becoming leader. And then making out that people not supporting him was a conspiracy. The sort of behaviour that fellow Breitbart writers would describe as using victimhood as currency.
  • John Rees-Evans, the guy who honestly claimed a gay donkey raped his horse, also running to be leader.
  • No one else in the party standing out as being any better.

So what next?

Nothing, probably. Being an ‘aggravated shindig’ means technically all they’re allowed to do is stand at the edges of UK politics. Doing a little jig for attention. Dad-dancing into the night.

This will obviously leave the UKIP supporters homeless. Or at least the ones who don’t recognise that Nigel Farage’s true replacement is Theresa May, anyway.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured images via Flickr

Support us and go ad-free

Do your bit for independent journalism

Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.

We need you to help out, if you can.

When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.

You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.

In return you get:

  • Advert free reading experience
  • Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
  • 20% discount from our shop


The Canary Fund us

Comments are closed