Theresa May’s 2016 in review – what did she do again?

John Shafthauer

It really has been quite the year for Theresa May. A year in which she floated to the top of the Westminster stink-pit as a result of…

…err…

…what did she do again?

Let’s look back and see.

The Brexit Club

Farce-off

There were two sides to the EU Referendum. Leave and remain.

And Theresa May was on…

…which side again?

Other than her own?

Technically, May backed remain. Sort of. Albeit not visibly. Or verbally. Or at all when you get right down to it.

And this lack of clarity / follow-through would be a key sign of things to come.

Desperation coronation

Only me

Despite having (sort of) been on the losing side of the Brexit vote, May was made PM. And how did she achieve this? Basically by being the only candidate who didn’t just drop out. Although Michael Gove didn’t quit, to be fair. But he was Michael Gove. And obviously that position was untenable.

Brexit means Brexit

OMG I was meant to come up with a Brexit plan over the summer, and I totally forgot.

Our decision to leave the European Union was viewed as the most important change to the UK for several generations. It was also predicted to be the most complicated. And as such, you’d expect that anyone who voluntarily chose to lead the country through this period must have a pretty solid idea of what they wanted to get out of it. And PM May did. It was:

Brexit means Brexit

In other words, her plan was to spout empty platitudes until such a time that she actually decided what she wanted. And if her latest plan for a “red, white, and blue Brexit” is anything to go by, we may be waiting some time.

The Future

This is totally a plan

May has had one idea for the future, in all fairness. And that’s to bring back grammar schools. Which we did actually have in the past. But we got rid of them because they didn’t work very well.

So, yes. Indeed. That’s good.

It’s great, in fact. Because at the point at which the public is tired of experts – a point at which Nigel Farage is taken seriously as a viable human being – of course the logical next step is to give up on educating all but the very brightest of pupils.

What could go wrong?

Knowing her, knowing EU

Fear we go again

Theresa May has ended the year with what looks like no friends in Europe. The Tories had previously suggested that people asking about their Brexit strategy was ‘talking down the country’. But it now looks like their stubborn refusal to come up with a plan is what’s talked down the country. Because the woman whose job it is to deal with the EU now seems to have made an enemy of everyone in it by giving the world the run-around.

So not so much ‘talking down the country’ as ‘not-talking’ down the country.

Almost as if her tactic of trying to avoid leading one way or the other is precisely the worst kind of leadership we could have going through Brexit.

Almost exactly, in fact.

Oh dear.

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