Trump announces the creation of a Journal of Alternative Facts

Journal of alternative facts
Support us and go ad-free

US President Donald Trump has already acknowledged that the concept of global warming was invented by the Chinese. In fact, he knows for sure that the planet is actually freezing, which is the reason why it sometimes snows in New York City.

[Note: All tweets below are real. Unfortunately.]

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

But despite the striking evidence, most scientists insist that global warming and climate change are real.

Everyone’s entitled to an opinion

According to the Trump Administration, the problem is we’ve been listening to the wrong people. One spokesperson told Off The Perch (OTP):

Just because someone has spent a lifetime working on a subject does not give him the authority to dismiss wild guesses in his field.

But things might be about to change. Trump’s science adviser has announced the launch of a new journal that wants to “give a voice to the voiceless”:

Scientists keep talking about things that no one can see. String theory? Anti-matter? Give me a break! The Journal of Alternative Facts will stop this nonsense and make science great again, like in the Middle Ages.

While the idea was originally to create a space to give voice to denialists, the editorial board has already announced that it will accept all kinds of research on alternative facts, from sloppy science to plain lies. As the White House science adviser told OTP:

Most scientific journals are too narrow-sighted and focus only on ‘real facts’. We want to broaden the possibilities.

According to the people behind the initiative, the Journal of Alternative Facts will “increase the diversity of voices in science” and “provide people with some scientific support for their wildest claims”. As the White House has perfectly summarised:

Nobody should ever feel stupid for saying stupid things.

The White House also believes that our society gives too much support to science. To fight back, it urges people to use all available technology to discredit the ideas that go against their beliefs or make them feel uncomfortable.

And as Trump himself acknowledges, since the last US election we have a more serious problem than global warming:

Sad.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Flickr/National Eye Institute

Support us and go ad-free

We need your help to keep speaking the truth

Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.

Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.

We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.

In return, you get:

* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop

Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.

With your help we can continue:

* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do

We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?

The Canary Support us

Comments are closed