Fears Latitude Festival may be ‘hijacked by the Alt-Centre’

Latitude Festival OTP
Support us and go ad-free

Concerns have been raised that the annual Latitude festival could become a stronghold and a recruiting ground for a disturbing new political movement.

The term ‘Alt-Centre’ has been coined to describe a group of predominantly young-ish, quite trendy, social media savvy people whose politics are “militantly middle-of-the-road”.

The punter

“I think being inoffensive is the new rock ‘n’ roll”, says Zeke Emmanuel. Off The Perch caught up with him in a north London charity shop, where he was looking for James Taylor LPs.

I’ve always gone straight down the middle. Y’know, in quite a hardcore way. I always vote LibDem, so I can still be friends with the whole family at Christmas. Although strangely, from 2010 to 2014, everyone seemed to have a go at me. I love the way Latitude doesn’t have a single act that could ever annoy anyone. It’s really chilled out. I’ve got my glamping yurt booked and I’m looking forward to seeing Mumford & Sons and Fleet Foxes. Although Fleet Foxes are a bit edgy with their off-grid vibe.

I think it’s great that the Alt-Centre is becoming a thing. And Latitude is the perfect rallying point. Being ‘Alt’ means being really really into something. And it makes it sound like a new version of whatever it was you were already into. So I’m totally into compromising and just trying to go along with people. But being ‘Alt’ makes it sound like a cool lifestyle choice and not just me being a doormat. Although the Alt thing can put people’s backs up, which is problematic for Alt-Centrists who don’t ever like to do that.

The expert

Off The Perch asked nocturnal election expert and political scientist Professor James Gess what he makes of the ‘Alt’ phenomenon:

Being ‘Alt’ means being really really into something. And it makes it sound like a new version of whatever it was you were already into. Some people even see it as a ‘cool lifestyle choice’. This is useful for the ‘Alt-Right’, because although members tend to still be into throwing Nazi salutes and moving all black-skinned people to the continent of Africa, they can now make a vague pretence at respectability.

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

It’s completely pointless for the Left, because striving towards a more equal and just society has never needed dressing up as anything other than what it is. That’s why the only people saying ‘Alt-Left’ are people who want to somehow compare left-wing activists with neo-Nazis.

As for the ‘Alt-Centre’… Well, I just think your man Zeke should take a look at himself.

We received a statement from Latitude organisers saying that they are aware of the issue. They’ve always tried to avoid controversy with their artist booking policy. However, if the ‘Alt-Centre’ threat grows, Latitude will follow the example of the formerly bland Superbowl Halftime Show and start featuring overtly political acts to scare people like Zeke away.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Flickr

Support us and go ad-free

Do your bit for independent journalism

Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.

We need you to help out, if you can.

When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.

You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.

In return you get:

  • Advert free reading experience
  • Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
  • 20% discount from our shop

 

The Canary Fund us

Comments are closed