George Osborne has shown himself to be a real whizz at making politics pay. Primarily by having multiple jobs. Some of which he even carries out.
But what tips does Osborne have for aspiring political vultures like himself? Off The Perch caught up with him to find out.
Osborne told us:
- Don’t worry about whether or not you’re doing your jobs particularly well. Accept that you’re almost certainly not, and learn how to live with that.
- Assume that you know best. Even when all evidence points to the contrary. Even when people with 50 years experience are screaming at you: “Are you on drugs, you uppity, rat-faced w*nker?” And even when things are literally catching fire!
- Never show up to work. Most of the people ‘employing’ you are only doing so to gain political leverage. And if they’re actually employing you because they think you’re up to snuff, they must be thicker than you are, and need liberating from the money they gave you pronto.
- Rely on Tony Blair for support. He gets how things work. You don’t start an illegal war in the Middle East and then become a Middle East peace envoy without learning a few things about not giving a f*ck.
- Smirk when people are explaining why you’re amoral, abhorrent, and a total arse. That way they’ll get that you understand, but also that you’re going to carry on anyway. You know, because you’re scum. And you love it.
Banks a lot
Osborne also had another key tip for anyone wanting to fleece the British public for all it’s worth:
Be born into money, plebs!
Almost as if a society with such ungodly wealth gaps breeds people who think that they’re genetically entitled to make a killing.
We need your help to keep speaking the truth
Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.
Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.
We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.
In return, you get:
* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop
Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.
With your help we can continue:
* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do
We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?