EU ready to give UK a great deal after scolding from Nigel Farage

Nigel Farage OTP European Parliament
Support us and go ad-free

Nigel Farage has accused EU leaders of behaving like “the mafia”. And as a follow up, he has made them an offer they can’t refuse. Which is either they give us exactly what we want, or we will not be happy!

And if they thought the UK’s complaining was bad before, just wait until they don’t even have to listen to us anymore because we disinvited ourselves from their club!

Leaving EU

People tried to explain to Farage that it isn’t the case that Britain is being given a bad deal because it’s leaving the EU. It’s actually that we were only getting a good deal in the first place because we were part of the union.

To put this in simple terms, if you joined a swingers club, you would find yourself being invited to orgies. If you left said club, it would be considered somewhat odd if you turned up at one of these orgies and attempted to peep through the windows. You know, if you attempted to enjoy the action without giving your fellow swingers a hand. If you proceeded to get yourself off while simultaneously avoiding the responsibility of having to hose down sex-swings afterwards.

Although at this point, we may have taken that analogy beyond its usefulness.

By jingo!

Farage thinks that the EU is looking at us – as we behave with class, dignity, and not at all like we’re having some sort of nation-wide nervous breakdown – and is thinking:

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

The Brits must have more resolve than we expected. Just look how majestically they are conducting themselves! We’d better give them exactly what they want before they invade us with their mighty navy.

And Farage hammered this point home by telling his fellow MEPs that they’re all gangsters. Before tearing his trousers off and proudly showing them his Union Jack Y-fronts. And then singing the national anthem while only forgetting most of the words.

And if that doesn’t show them who’s boss, it’s likely that nothing ever will.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via YouTube

Support us and go ad-free

Do your bit for independent journalism

Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.

We need you to help out, if you can.

When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.

You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.

In return you get:

  • Advert free reading experience
  • Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
  • 20% discount from our shop


The Canary Fund us

Comments are closed