Tories release promotional posters for their ‘barista visas’

John Shafthauer

Many right-wingers celebrated Brexit because it meant we could finally boot out the foreigners!

Although this victory has been somewhat diminished by the revelation that we needed those migrant workers for working.

And that, without them, the UK will look like a scene from a zombie film. A ghastly place where members of the aristocracy are forced to make their own coffee, park their own Land Rovers, and rear their own children.

And obviously, we can’t be having that!

Welcome to the UK!

The government has unveiled a set of promotional posters to try and entice foreign workers back to the UK with so-called ‘barista visas’.

Although, obviously, it’s important to point out that said workers will have to return home after two years. And live in the sewers between shifts.

Because we wouldn’t want them to enjoy the society they generously contributed to.

Pre-emptive failure

There’s an outside chance that centring our politics around a barely concealed disgust for foreign people may ultimately repel them from coming here.

Which is why the Foreign Office is already planning an expedition to the Mediterranean to try and capture some native baristas on the Italian mainland.

Boris Johnson, who’ll be leading the expedition, has said:

I somehow always knew it would come to this.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Flickr / Flickr / Flickr / Flickr

We need your help ...

The coronavirus pandemic is changing our world, fast. And we will do all we can to keep bringing you news and analysis throughout. But we are worried about maintaining enough income to pay our staff and minimal overheads.

Now, more than ever, we need a vibrant, independent media that holds the government to account and calls it out when it puts vested economic interests above human lives. We need a media that shows solidarity with the people most affected by the crisis – and one that can help to build a world based on collaboration and compassion.

We have been fighting against an establishment that is trying to shut us down. And like most independent media, we don’t have the deep pockets of investors to call on to bail us out.

Can you help by chipping in a few pounds each month?

The Canary Support us

Comments are closed