After several delays, the Queen’s speech has taken place. But all was not as it should be. As a clearly ‘not amused’ Queen gave the impression that she wasn’t signing in a ‘government’ so much as a ‘govermess’.
Are we on?
The Queen turned up to her speech wearing a shell suit and smoking a roll-up cigarette.
“Are you filming?” the Queen asked a cameraman, as she flicked her fag into a bin full of Tory manifestos. “Because one is due down the bingo in 20 minutes”.
The Queen was informed that the cameras were indeed rolling, and so she had a go at the speech:
There seem to be several pages missing? Had trouble running some of these ideas past the public, did we? Well, let’s see what else you’ve got.
Okay, so it says here that you want to carry on making things… ‘better’… for ordinary people… Is that a typo? No? So it shouldn’t say ‘worse’ then?
Well I must say that you people have an inflated opinion of yourselves. And that’s coming from a woman whose face is on the £50 note!
What else is in here? Okay, so it says that you’ve cancelled my speech next year. What a shame. I was really looking forward to serving up whatever dog’s dinner you had on the 2018 menu. Maybe you could go into coalition with Foot and Mouth disease, or elect the woman who put a cat in a bin as your new leader?
Anyway, if that’s it, I’m off!
The job complete, her Majesty proceeded to light another cigarette, shake her head at Theresa May, and then ride off to Mecca Bingo on her royal ostrich.
Featured image via YouTube
We need your help ...
The coronavirus pandemic is changing our world, fast. And we will do all we can to keep bringing you news and analysis throughout. But we are worried about maintaining enough income to pay our staff and minimal overheads.
Now, more than ever, we need a vibrant, independent media that holds the government to account and calls it out when it puts vested economic interests above human lives. We need a media that shows solidarity with the people most affected by the crisis – and one that can help to build a world based on collaboration and compassion.
We have been fighting against an establishment that is trying to shut us down. And like most independent media, we don’t have the deep pockets of investors to call on to bail us out.
Can you help by chipping in a few pounds each month?