For several decades, scientists have warned that climate change could tear a hole in the Earth-Oz continuum. This would see magical weather tornadoes regularly tearing people into the wonderful world of Oz. An event that traditionally only happened every 30 years or so (i.e. the amount of time it took for Hollywood to run out of new ideas).
Sceptics, however, poo-pooed these claims – saying:
No, no, no! Everything is fine! And I don’t have to listen if I stick my fingers in my ears and go LA-LA-LA!
An argument that they’re sticking to – even though recent weather phenomena mean many of them aren’t in Kansas anymore.
Scarecrow needs a brain
We spoke to the leading moron climate sceptic, Francis Flipknuckle, about the situation:
Well obviously, having our house blown straight out of reality is a bit of an inconvenience, but I don’t really see the link between this and the thing that has long been predicted to cause this.
These things just happen. I mean – obviously, they never used to happen. But just because the climate is changing doesn’t mean that climate change is real.
If anything, this is probably caused by that law Obama passed that means all soldiers have to switch genders and marry one another. My house never got blown to Oz before that!
Our interview was cut short at this point, as Mr Flipknuckle was abducted by a troop of flying monkeys. “This is fine!” he shouted, as they carried him away. “This is normal!”
Of course, it could just be one big coincidence that once-in-a-lifetime weather events are happening twice-in-a-daytime.
And obviously, the only rational thing to do is to wait and see.
Because if it is coincidental, then everything will be fine. And if it isn’t, then everything will be…
…I think I need to reassess the risk management on this.
Featured image via Flickr
We need your help to keep speaking the truth
Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.
Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.
We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.
In return, you get:
* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop
Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.
With your help we can continue:
* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do
We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?