Ten things that went right with Theresa May’s ‘British Nightmare’ speech

John Shafthauer

2017 has not been a good year for Theresa May. Although, to be fair, most years have been terrible for her: this is just the year in which people paid attention.

In an effort to regain control, May stood before her party and country on 4 October. Despite several things going wrong (to the point that it felt like a cross between The Thick of It and Saw), May soldiered on, and she said:

Oh god – this is an absolute nightmare *COUGH, COUGH*. And I’m in charge, am I? *COUGH* Of the country? *COUGH, COUGH* Jesus Christ.

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But what, if anything, went right?

Ten things I rate about you

Theresa’s top ten includes:

  • No recorded fatalities.
  • She mentioned Jeremy Corbyn – a much better politician – at one point.
  • Several of the letters behind May didn’t fall off.
  • It got great ratings. Which is allegedly quite important in the Trumpian era of politics.
  • It made everyone forget about the disastrous election. Briefly.
  • Not all of the speech was plagiarised. Some of it was just bad.
  • There weren’t any jokes about dead Libyans. The bar for decency at the Conservative Party Conference having been set pretty low this year.
  • Like most successful right-wing speeches, it resulted in a popular communist – Frida Kahlo in this instance – trending on Twitter.
  • It hasn’t weakened our Brexit negotiating hand. We already didn’t have one.
  • It reminded us that things can only get better. Unless of course you’re Theresa May. In which case things seem to be getting worse. Which is impressive, considering how bad they already were.

So yes, it wasn’t all bad.

Some of it was terrible.

A lot of it was diabolical.

And most of it was hilarious.

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