Tax avoidance is ‘perfectly legal’, gloat people who make the law

Wilson Belshaw

As another tax avoidance scandal is breaking out, people are once more being reminded that the practice is perfectly legal. A fact which has prompted many people to ask:

Err… why is it legal again?

Tory tax

The Tory donor and 48th in line to the throne, Lord Trough-Gorger, made a statement on the matter:

The idea that I’m not paying anything is ridiculous. I have to donate regularly to the Tory Party for one, and that’s sort of a tax. I certainly wouldn’t get away with as much avoidance if I didn’t give them a taste!

I also worked jolly hard for that money. I mean, I personally didn’t. But the people I employ did. Or at least the people under them anyway.

Royal flush

Even the Queen has been implicated in the latest scandal, which forced her to say:

Do you really think I’m able to keep track of what all my money is doing, you spiteful little peasants? It’s only £10m, for god’s sake – that’s less than I spend in a year on temporary tattoos.

The Queen showed off her latest tattoo at that point, which depicted popular crooner Bryan Ferry.

She also added:

What did you think ‘God Save the Queen’ was about if not sparing me from the taxman?

Reform

When asked if the party would reform tax avoidance rules, a Tory spokesperson said:

Of course! We can’t wait to betray all of the donors who only give us money because we keep the system rigged in their favour.

Oh, man – did I just say that out loud? There are too many scandals today.

Expect them to announce something soon. Just like they announced something after the last avoidance scandal. And the one before that. Etc, etc.

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Featured image via Wikipedia

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Wilson Belshaw