This week, folks were surprised to learn that many of the richest people are avoiding paying tax. Although obviously, by ‘surprised’ I mean ‘not surprised at all and really fucking angry’. With the only person who’s actually claiming shock being Bono.
Rock and roll
Bono explained his innocence on MTV (if MTV is still even a thing?):
Look, I know it looks weird that I’m an investor in a Lithuanian shopping centre. But it isn’t. Okay?
This is standard rock and roll stuff. It’s where the saying ‘sex, drugs, east-European infrastructure, and rock and roll’ comes from.
I ended up getting into it after a three-day investment bender I went on with Sting and Bob Geldof. It was wild! Sting ended up becoming a majority shareholder in an Albanian pork rendering plant: Geldof bought a minority stake in the Transylvanian power grid.
It was a real legendary session. I could feel the ghosts of Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison there with us.
Stuck in a moment
Of course, the real victims of the Paradise Papers are all the innocent multi-millionaires who simply had no idea what their money was doing. The wealthy men and women who handed their finances to some sleazy accountant or other and said:
Here you go. Turn this money into a shit-load more money, please – no questions asked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
The poor fuckers.
Well, not ‘poor’, obviously. As there’s still no danger of them suffering financially.
Just ‘rich’ fuckers basically.
Featured image via Pixabay
We need your help to keep speaking the truth
Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.
Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.
We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.
In return, you get:
* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop
Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.
With your help we can continue:
* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do
We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?