Jeremy Hunt further clarifies that the NHS’s ‘big problem’ is about 6ft2in tall

Jeremy Hunt the NHS’ ‘big problem’ is about 6ft2in tall OTP
Wilson Belshaw

Preaching to the choir, Jeremy Hunt has spoken of a ‘very big problem’ within the NHS. He’s now further expanded on what this ‘very big problem’ is.

In his own words

Speaking to some Mail journalists (who had time off in between ‘doorstepping’ random citizens who disagree with them), Hunt said:

This very big problem is about 6ft2in tall.

This very big problem has all the compassion of a rabid tarantula on meth.

This very big problem has the job suitability of a scarecrow made of Quavers.

This very big problem looks like the human equivalent of a microwaved cheese string.

This very big problem spews more shit than a busted Wetherspoon’s toilet.

This very big problem is the wrecking ball that the Tories are using to bludgeon the UK’s most beloved institution.

Although obviously, its IQ is lower than that of an actual wrecking ball. Significantly lower too.

After several more confusing minutes of this, one of the ever-sharp Mail journalists asked:

Sorry – are you talking about yourself?

To which Hunt replied:

I was talking about the SARS virus actually. Although we are often mistaken for one another.

Legacy

Eventually, the Tories will be kicked out, and the NHS will be restored to its former glory. Hunt, meanwhile, will be a footnote of bad things to have happened to the service – falling somewhere in between Harold Shipman and microwave dinners.

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Wilson Belshaw