Government to invest £50m in better NHS winter crisis apology

Support us and go ad-free

When the now annual NHS winter crisis rolled around, people thought:

Oh no! Whatever can be done?

Just in the nick of time though, the Health Secretary and Prime Minister swooped in and issued apologies. People then thought:

Oh good. That’ll fix everything.

And yet – weirdly – it hasn’t.

What gives?

NHS staff report watching the live apologies with hope:

We all gathered around to watch – expecting everything to be magically fixed. And yet, when Jeremy Hunt stopped gnashing his horrible goblin mouth, we found that A&E was still rammed; beds were still too few; staff shortages were still unmanageable, and funding was still too low.

Read on...

Better luck next year

A spokesperson for the Health Department said:

We think the problem lies with the health professionals actually. They say they heard the apology, but did they really?

Anyway, there’s no use crying over spilled milk. We’re going to spend money on a more simplified apology next year, and hopefully these doctors will pull their heads out of their arses long enough to understand it.

The future

The spokesperson was asked if this money would be better spent on the NHS itself. It was even suggested that investing in the NHS properly would remove the need for an apology in the first place.

The spokesperson didn’t seem to understand the concept though:

“Invest… in public… infrastructure?” they asked bemusedly.

At this point, an annoyed onlooker tossed their shoe at the confused Tory mouthpiece’s head.

“Sorry!” the shoe-tosser shouted.

And yet the lump on the spokesperson’s head was still there.

Get Involved!

Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via Wikimedia 

We know everyone is suffering under the Tories - but the Canary is a vital weapon in our fight back, and we need your support

The Canary Workers’ Co-op knows life is hard. The Tories are waging a class war against us we’re all having to fight. But like trade unions and community organising, truly independent working-class media is a vital weapon in our armoury.

The Canary doesn’t have the budget of the corporate media. In fact, our income is over 1,000 times less than the Guardian’s. What we do have is a radical agenda that disrupts power and amplifies marginalised communities. But we can only do this with our readers’ support.

So please, help us continue to spread messages of resistance and hope. Even the smallest donation would mean the world to us.

Support us

Comments are closed