Mail Online accuses Nicola Sturgeon of strangling a beefeater with a Saltire

Sturgeon beefeater OTP
Support us and go ad-free

On Wednesday 24 January, several ‘news’ sources accused Nicola Sturgeon of something which apparently isn’t true. The Telegraph even used its front page to make the claim:

This shocking lack of rigour from a mainstream ‘news’ source led many people to question the day’s other stories. One in particular stood out. It was entitled: Rowdy Ruddy Scot Strangles Beefeater with Saltire.

Stereotripe

In an article filled with stereotypes and slander of the worst kind, Mail Online reported:

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

One eye-witness saw the First Minister sneaking up behind a beefeater – a Saltire in one hand and her mouth foaming. The poor serviceman didn’t stand a chance, as the vicious, haggis-breathed witch strangled the life out of him.

Once our brave boy had copped it, the Irn-Bru harpy dragged the corpse back to her lair. Allegedly she shouted, ‘You can finance our decadent, leftist scrounging, but you’ll never take our ungratefulness!’

Sturgeon then dislocated her jaw and began to swallow the sturdy beefeater whole – an ability which is common only to snakes and the Scotch.

Scot the nine o’ clock news

The SNP disputed the claims – saying that it was “more typical racism from the English establishment”.

A spokesperson from Mail Online, however, spent half an hour explaining to us why Scottish people were genetically and culturally inferior – pointing to head measurements and other dubious forms of ‘science’ as an explanation.

Buckingham Palace has also added that it’s illegal for anyone other than the Queen to hunt and eat beefeaters.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Public Domain Pictures / Flickr

Support us and go ad-free

Do your bit for independent journalism

Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.

We need you to help out, if you can.

When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.

You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.

In return you get:

  • Advert free reading experience
  • Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
  • 20% discount from our shop

 

The Canary Fund us

Comments are closed