Marr denies Tory-bias after giving Dominic Raab foot massage during interview

Andrew Marr staring at a foot
John Shafthauer

Andrew Marr has been accused of showing bias towards the government. Partially because he shouted over Shami Chakrabarti. But mainly because he gave Dominic Raab a foot massage.

Rub a dub-dub

As the interview began, Raab looked a bit tense. He’d just resigned to protest a deal that he himself negotiated, and had recently admitted he didn’t know the island of Great Britain relied on boats to import stuff.

Sensing Raab’s nervousness, Marr sidled over with a bottle of Baby Oil.

“Shh,” he whispered. “Don’t you worry your little head, baby bird. Andy’s here to make all your worries melt away.”

Marr then rubbed Raab’s foot for 20 minutes while the former Brexit secretary said things unquestioned. Compare this to the Chakrabarti interview, in which Marr screamed:

Don’t you patronise me, you fucking jam tart! I eat people like you for breakfast! Do you know who I am? I’m Andrew-fucking-Marr! You don’t come into the doghouse unless you expect to get bitten! Now pipe down and show me the proper deference, you uppity witch!

Blah Blah Corporation

The BBC has spoken out in defence of Marr, saying:

The BBC is impartial. Ergo, if we do something, it’s correct, and only seems otherwise because you’re so un-impartial, you smelly, leftist shits.

So that’s that solved.

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Featured image via Aleser – Wikimedia/YouTube (IMAGE WAS ALTERED)

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John Shafthauer