Marr denies Tory-bias after giving Dominic Raab foot massage during interview

Andrew Marr staring at a foot
Support us and go ad-free

Andrew Marr has been accused of showing bias towards the government. Partially because he shouted over Shami Chakrabarti. But mainly because he gave Dominic Raab a foot massage.

Rub a dub-dub

As the interview began, Raab looked a bit tense. He’d just resigned to protest a deal that he himself negotiated, and had recently admitted he didn’t know the island of Great Britain relied on boats to import stuff.

Sensing Raab’s nervousness, Marr sidled over with a bottle of Baby Oil.

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

“Shh,” he whispered. “Don’t you worry your little head, baby bird. Andy’s here to make all your worries melt away.”

Marr then rubbed Raab’s foot for 20 minutes while the former Brexit secretary said things unquestioned. Compare this to the Chakrabarti interview, in which Marr screamed:

Don’t you patronise me, you fucking jam tart! I eat people like you for breakfast! Do you know who I am? I’m Andrew-fucking-Marr! You don’t come into the doghouse unless you expect to get bitten! Now pipe down and show me the proper deference, you uppity witch!

Blah Blah Corporation

The BBC has spoken out in defence of Marr, saying:

The BBC is impartial. Ergo, if we do something, it’s correct, and only seems otherwise because you’re so un-impartial, you smelly, leftist shits.

So that’s that solved.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via Aleser – Wikimedia/YouTube (IMAGE WAS ALTERED)

Support us and go ad-free

Do your bit for independent journalism

Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.

We need you to help out, if you can.

When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.

You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.

In return you get:

  • Advert free reading experience
  • Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
  • 20% discount from our shop

 

The Canary Fund us

Comments are closed