Right-wing youth movement not what it seems to be

An old man dressed as a young person saying, "How do you do, fellow kids?"
Wilson Belshaw

Turning Point is a right-wing youth movement. It aims to prove that young people love the economic system which will see them have less wealth and opportunity than their parents.

But… err… do they actually love it?

An Off The Perch investigation revealed something shocking.

Quelle surprise

One of our journalists visited the Turning Point UK offices undercover. We expected to meet a group of affluent, young rich people with a passion for holding the rest of their generation back. All was not as it seems, however.

“Cowabunga, dudes,” the ‘youngster’ greeting us said.

The man in question wore shorts and had a backwards baseball cap on.

“Excuse me, but aren’t you Jacob Rees-Mogg of the Conservative Party?” our journalist asked.

“That’s a bogus accusation,” Rees-Mogg responded. “I’m just an everyday British teen who loves capitalism and chill.”

“Umm…” our reporter said – not buying it.

Hip trick

“Let me put this in terms you’ll find more on fleek,” Rees-Mogg continued. “Socialism is like the bad guy in the Harry Potter books, and conservatism is like the good guy – whatever his name was. I think it was Ron Jeremy or something.”

We pointed out that the good guy in Harry Potter was called Harry Potter.

“Totally,” Rees-Mogg agreed.

He then attempted to do a kick flip on his skateboard – a move which saw him shatter every bone in his leg.

“I told you… that would be… hip…” he moaned, as the paramedics carried him away.

Dad jokes aside, Turning Point UK is offering young people something that no one else is. No one except the government and its corporate backers, obviously.

Featured image via Graeme Maclean – Wikimedia / YouTube – 30 Rock Official

Get involved

We need your help ...

The coronavirus pandemic is changing our world, fast. And we will do all we can to keep bringing you news and analysis throughout. But we are worried about maintaining enough income to pay our staff and minimal overheads.

Now, more than ever, we need a vibrant, independent media that holds the government to account and calls it out when it puts vested economic interests above human lives. We need a media that shows solidarity with the people most affected by the crisis – and one that can help to build a world based on collaboration and compassion.

We have been fighting against an establishment that is trying to shut us down. And like most independent media, we don’t have the deep pockets of investors to call on to bail us out.

Can you help by chipping in a few pounds each month?

The Canary Support us
Wilson Belshaw