Theresa May loses support from everyone but Change UK

Image of Chuka Umunna saying "Things can only get the same-ier"
John Shafthauer


Theresa May faces yet another no-confidence vote – this time from the Tory grassroots:

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Has everyone lost faith in the prime minister now?

As it turns out, no, they haven’t. She’s still got the support of Change UK (CHUK) – a party which supposedly exists to change the UK:

Things can only get same-ier

Off The Perch asked CHUK to explain itself. A representative told us:

Look – an election wouldn’t change anything.

In response, we sat them down and explained that elections actually change a great deal of things. For a start, they alter which MPs have seats. They can also change which party is in power. And furthermore, they give a good impression of what proposals are popular with the populous.

The representative argued:

Look – an election wouldn’t change anything.

We became suspicious at this point – noticing that the rep hadn’t blinked in over forty minutes.

“Look – an election wouldn’t change anything,” they repeated – this time unprompted.

Before we could inspect them for the tell-tale signs of robotics, an assistant swooped in and dragged them away.

Politi-bots 

Look – we’re not saying that Change UK is a group of centrist robots who’ve been programmed by sinister billionaires to protect the status quo. We are saying that if they were, would there really be any difference?

Featured image via Wikimedia – Chris McAndrew (image was altered)

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