May promises to leave the planet if people vote for her deal

Image of Theresa May in space
Support us and go ad-free

Theresa May is an unconvincing politician with a terrible Brexit deal that’s hated by everyone. Despite this, she’s struggled to get anyone to vote for it. In her latest last-ditch attempt, she’s promised to leave the planet if people vote yes.

Out of time / outer space

In one of her more eventful speeches, May said:

Let me be clear – the Brexit deal I’m proposing is the only one I’m offering. Clearly you all hate me, but if I don’t get this through, my Wikipedia entry is going to be grim reading indeed. To satisfy your obvious hatred for me, I’m prepared to fuck off to Jupiter if you vote yes on my deal.

A Tory MP commented on the speech, saying:

She never follows through on her promises, so there’s no trust any more. And besides, most of the leadership candidates have promised to launch her into space either way.

Jeremy Corbyn said:

This situation’s bad enough without us littering space with useless garbage.

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

Nigel Farage added:

DEATH TO THE TRAITORS!

Galaxy brain

May’s last big idea may be her worst yet. If it is her ‘last’ big proposal, anyway. This wouldn’t be the first time she’s failed to live up to her word. At this point she’s the political equivalent of a spam email.

Featured image via Wikimedia – Annika Haas / Good Free Photos

Support us and go ad-free

Get involved

Do your bit for independent journalism

Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.

We need you to help out, if you can.

When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.

You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.

In return you get:

  • Advert free reading experience
  • Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
  • 20% discount from our shop

 

The Canary Fund us