‘We’d want to get away from England, too’, Labour admits to Scotland

Jeremy Corbyn and John McDonnell in front of the Saltire waving
Wilson Belshaw

After years of pretending that Scotland has good reason to remain handcuffed to England, Labour has finally given in. Because – let’s face it – England isn’t so much a country as an elitist pyramid scheme – existing solely to enrich the ghouls at its top.

Shit Britain

England doesn’t even treat English people well. If Scotland goes, it could be followed by Wales and the north of Ireland. Beyond that, it’s not unrealistic to think the north of England, Cornwall, and several suburbs of London might leave. We may even see individual Englanders renouncing their Englishness and declaring their homes independent mini-states.

Of course, there is a progressive argument for Scotland staying. As one person put it:

Umm… it might be really difficult for us to get a non-Tory government if you leave, so can you just grin and bear it? Hopefully things will improve at some point. Or – you know – get much worse, like they did after your last referendum.

As Scottish activists have pointed out:

The fact that England is wall-to-wall Tories isn’t really the best selling point, to be honest.

The other progressive argument for refusing to let Scottish people have a say over their own future is…

…err…

…oh yeah – now I remember – it’s non-existent.

Run!

The idea that Tory politicians from the shire would ever treat people from other countries as equal partners is quite laughable, really.

If nothing else, English people should encourage Scotland to leave the UK so they have somewhere to get away to when no-deal Brexit hits the fan.

The important thing is that whether Scotland stays or goes, it’s Scottish people who decide. Unless they pay for me to move up there, in which case I would happily vote yes in any upcoming referendum.

Featured image via Wikimedia – Rwendland

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Wilson Belshaw