Trump calls for an end to ‘American football’

Speaking at the FIFA World Cup draw, Donald Trump has finally come out against the travesty that is American ‘football’:

'DOESN'T MAKE SENSE': President Trump suggests American football needs a name-change, so soccer can be called "football" in the U.S., during the FIFA World Cup draw. pic.twitter.com/OwmIaI3Hji

— Fox News (@FoxNews) December 5, 2025

It’s about time.

And if the Yanks are taking suggestions, we propose they change the name to ‘Power Rangers Rugby’, because that’s what these clowns look like.

Trump — Mr Peace

The 2026 World Cup will be hosted across North America by the US, Canada, and Mexico. Reflecting on the chaotic nature of the Americans, the draw proved to be something of a confusing event:

You know what’s killing me about the FIFA 2026 World Cup draw?

They still haven’t drawn the damn group

Instead we got:

– Donald Trump peace prize
– Lauryn Hill (late as usual)
– Kevin Hart yelling
– Matthew McConaughey saying “alright alright alright”
– 47 interviews
-… pic.twitter.com/imRMrVagLs

— Abhi Nav (@ispeakweb3) December 5, 2025

The other big happening at the World Cup draw was that FIFA — an organisation with a history of corruption scandals — gave a Peace Award to Donald Trump — a man with a history of corruption scandals and war crimes.

So that’s definitely legitimate.

At no point during the five-year span that Monty Python's Flying Circus aired on the BBC, from October 1969 to December 1974, could the greatest comedic minds of their time come up with a skit more grotesquely absurd than Trump placing a fake peace-prize medal over his own head. pic.twitter.com/Szca03azP4

— Tibor M. Kalman (@kalmantibs) December 6, 2025

As people have noted, it seems to be an effort on FIFA’s part to appeal to Trump’s childlike nature:

I can’t tell if it’s worse that everyone treats Trump like a toddler or that he doesn’t seem to realize it https://t.co/UU9xxld6XU

— evan loves worf (@esjesjesj) December 5, 2025

His political opponents are mocking him as a result:

I WANT TO CONGRATULATE DONALD J. TRUMP FOR WINNING THE "YOU DIDN'T WIN THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE BECAUSE YOU'RE A WARMONGER AND A CLOWN BUT WE STILL NEED YOU SO HERE'S A HAPPY MEAL AWARD YOU CAN WEAR TO YOUR CABINET CONCUBINE MEETINGS SO YOUR HAREM CAN CLAP LIKE CIRCUS SEALS" MEDAL. https://t.co/9c7Ydt7yAT

— Governor Newsom Press Office (parody) (@AwesomeNewsom) December 5, 2025

European supporters, meanwhile, had this to say:

Let us be very clear: this baby's rattle is not awarded "on behalf of billions of fans around the world", as @FIFAcom claims. It’s nothing more than an ego-stroking stunt.

This is a deeply troubling day for football & FIFA. pic.twitter.com/PJSC7DfZhL

— Football Supporters Europe (@FansEurope) December 5, 2025

This account was actually more incensed if anything:

As expected, one of the most disgusting and darkest moments in the history of world sport, comparable to the Nazi Olympics. A FIFA Peace Prize for a fascist, multiple convicted criminal, rapist, racist and fraudster. Trump and Infantilo – a dirty, degenerate bunch. pic.twitter.com/8ndae8JKPt

— SPORT & POLITICS (@JensWeinreich) December 5, 2025

Even some Fox News hosts understand this shit is embarrassing:

Gutfeld: I also love that the peace prize from FIFA, it didn't go to like Greta Thunberg.

Turner: Because it was created for the president

Gutfeld: What’s your beef with this? What your problem? pic.twitter.com/JPLJugmUvm

— Acyn (@Acyn) December 5, 2025

Not all of them, however; some are doubling down on the humiliation:

Watters: It's almost like god gave us covid to kick Trump out so he could reemerge again, and oversee this wonderful four years of birthday parties, international sporting events, and octagon. If you doubted there was a god — this is evidence there is god. pic.twitter.com/IocSR37wBQ

— Acyn (@Acyn) December 5, 2025

Trump himself seemed somewhat vacant, although that’s increasingly the norm for the 79-year-old president:

COLLINS: You're expected to get the FIFA peace prize. What you say to people who say it conflicts with your pledge to strike Venezuela?

TRUMP: I've settled 8 wars. I don't know that I'm getting it. I've been hearing about a peace prize and I'm here to represent our country. But… pic.twitter.com/wq6o3yXQAT

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) December 5, 2025

The president of peace?

Honestly, it would have been less embarrassing for FIFA if they’d declared Trump their ‘Player of the Year’. Despite his claims to the contrary, Trump seems to actively be pushing for an illegal war in Venezuela, as Joe Glenton reported for the Canary:

Cartel De Los Soles, the ‘cartel of the suns’, is now on the US foreign terror organisation (FTO) list. The problem is that this cartel – which the US claims is run by senior Venezuela politicians – may not even exist. It was already subject to lesser sanctions. As one thinktanker explained:

“There is no such thing, so Maduro can hardly be its boss.”

There are other alarm bells too. Despite how forcefully this (possibly fictional) cartel is spoken about by US leaders, the organisation wasn’t even mentioned in the US’s latest major drug report released in January 2025.

The US claims to be fighting a war against ‘narcoterrorists’. Since September, that war has claimed at least 82 lives in at-sea air strikes. Evidence to support the strikes is scarce. And even US military judges insist there is an extremely thin legal basis for them. One even said:

“there is no world where this is legal.”

Not even banning American Football could make up for this.

Featured image via KeithJJ