US defence secretary Pete Hegseth is being an absolute crayon again

US defence secretary and far-right tattooed plonker Pete Hegseth has pledged to test the testosterone levels of US military personnel. another normal one for Pete, then. In one of his irredeemably weird X posts, the former soldier and alleged danger announced that the US military would be “a High T department”:

The High-T Department of War. pic.twitter.com/hlAUq3j2cD

— Secretary of War Pete Hegseth (@SecWar) July 15, 2026

The defence secretary wants to test soldiers over 30 to ensure:

you have the right testosterone levels to operate at your absolute best.

Public health scientist and epidemiologist Eric Feigl-Ding said:

I used to do testosterone research—testing for T levels in troops doesn’t make sense without a medical reason—T levels is not associated with higher cognitive function. T can drop because of stress or exhaustion—but TRT doesn’t always improve physical performance—mixed at best. https://t.co/ZXnA0SC0ju

— Eric Feigl-Ding (@DrEricDing) July 15, 2026

Testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) has become a faddish grift for the far-right manosphere. There are some occasions where doctors prescribe, but as one report on Hegseth’s comments pointed out:

Testosterone replacement therapy can help some patients with genuine deficiency, but it is not a simple fitness shortcut.

Another study pointed out:

Despite screening for low testosterone being medically unwarranted in most young men, this group is being aggressively targeted online by influencers and wellness companies promoting hormone tests and treatments as essential to being a “real man”.

Hegseth’s fake manosphere bullshit as policy

University of Copenhagen public health researcher Emma Grundtvig Gram told the Guardian in January 2026:

Men may come to perceive themselves as inherently deficient or in need of medical intervention.

Gram also said that:

This creates a sense of urgency for solutions, which in turn fuels lucrative markets for pharmaceuticals, supplements and medical devices, even in the absence of clear clinical benefit. More broadly, this contributes to the medicalisation of masculinity itself. It reinforces a narrow, idealised model of masculinity, while marginalising non-traditional or diverse expressions of gender.

Hegseth, who is a buffoon, is effectively making bro-dude pseudoscience a part of government policy. In his X video, Hegseth said:

We owe our warriors the absolute best medical care in the world, and this programme delivers on that obligation.

He added:

Taking care of your long-term health means ensuring you remain strong, resilient and capable – not just for your next deployment, but for the rest of your life, so you can thrive long after you take off the uniform.

US representative Chrissy Houlahan said the ‘T’ industry “would be thrilled” by Hegseth’s “latest culture-war obsession”:

Secretary of Defense Hegseth wants Congress to send him another $60 billion. Now he's announcing a new government-funded testosterone screening program for every service member over 30.

I'm sure the testosterone industry is thrilled. Taxpayers should ask who benefits from this… https://t.co/p3sxMvUsOH

— Chrissy Houlahan (@RepHoulahan) July 15, 2026

In a shock to nobody, the defence secretary was once a Fox News host. Hegseth thinks the US military has been turned ‘woke’. He has made it his personal mission to fix this entirely made-up issue. He once posted a video mixing scenes from the movies Gladiator, Deadpool, Mission Impossible and John Wick, himself and combat footage from the failed US war in Iran:

JUSTICE THE AMERICAN WAY. 🇺🇸🔥 pic.twitter.com/0502N6a3rL

— The White House (@WhiteHouse) March 6, 2026

Hegseth may be the biggest crayon of a human being ever produced by a country that produces fools at a rate which can barely be comprehended.  God bless America and her nuclear codes. Which are in the hands of this weirdo. Great stuff.

Featured image via the Canary