It’s my deal or one of several better options, warns May

May in front of a burning building
John Shafthauer

After several weeks of warning that it’s her deal or chaos, Theresa May has slipped up. In her most recent interview, the tired PM said:

It’s my deal – which nobody actually wants, I should add – or one of several alternatives – a few of which could actually get through parliament. Oh no – wait.

Warning means warning

But what are these other options? They include:

  • A second referendum.
  • A best out of three referendum.
  • Everyone just stops talking about Brexit, and we hope the EU forgets.
  • We update our address to say ‘Norway’ in an attempt to steal their deal.
  • We go through with ‘no deal’ Brexit but make the hardcore Brexiteers pledge to pay for any lost income.
  • Atlantis+++.

As ridiculous as some of these options are, they’ve all polled as being more popular than May’s. And with good reason. Because the PM has negotiated the worst of all deals. A recent look at the small print shows that not only will we lose our freedom of movement, but EC president Jean-Claude Juncker will be allowed to come over here and help himself to the contents of our fridges.

As things stand, May’s deal is expected to be voted down in parliament by 400 to -15. The pollsters predicting this do admit their results may be unfairly weighted in May’s favour, though.

Featured image via Annika Haas – Wikimedia / Pixabay (images were altered)

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John Shafthauer