On the anniversary of my girlfriend’s death, I still see her humanity everywhere

Monday was the five-year anniversary of my girlfriend’s death. 

She was 28. Ultimately, she died from alcoholism after pneumonia caused her liver to shut down, which then triggered sepsis. 

She wasn’t ready for help. Until she was, and by which point it was too late. Unfortunately, that’s how alcoholism works. Unless a person chooses to get sober it’s progressive and fatal. It’s excruciating to watch someone you love so deeply die in such a painful and tragic way.

Her anniversary, along with watching the far-right lunatics’ race riots on the news and social media the last few days, has really made me reflect on the state of the country we live in, how little has changed since she died in 2019, and how – when she had absolutely nothing – she was still more caring than the well-paid politicians running the country. 

A broken system

Before Leah died, she was staying in supported accommodation for people who were homeless and struggling with addiction. Even during that time, she was the most selfless person I’d ever met. She routinely gave her last £20 to people who had nothing so they wouldn’t have to sleep on the streets. 

Just like in 2019, violent men are still going unchallenged, people are going without homes or support, individuals suffering from addiction are demonised and looked down on. Women are not believed when they report abuse, or when they are in pain or unwell. Families with more than two children are losing out if they become unemployed and need to claim Universal Credit. Injustice is all around us.

Nothing has changed

The exact same problems that Leah faced – homelessness, alcoholism, trauma, and lack of support are the exact same problems that are still plaguing society, five-years later. Nothing has changed. In fact, it has actually got worse. 

According to the Centre for Homelessness Impact, the number of people who are rough sleeping ‘is rising at a rate not seen in decades’. What happened to the Tory government’s pledge to end rough sleeping by the end of the next parliament? What is Labour going to do about it now? 

In the time that has passed since Leah’s death, I have seen over and over again how easily society overlooks, and even forgets, people like Leah.

When she died, the central point of the conversations of people that surrounded me was her alcoholism.

No one stopped to consider how or why she got to the point she did. No one questioned our fucked up justice system that allows dangerous men to walk free while she battled to keep her head above water. Or the lack of support available to her when she so desperately wanted help but wasn’t at the point where she could physically stop drinking without medical help.

People overlooked her sense of humour, her ability to walk into any room and make someone smile, and the enormous amount of love she had for everyone around her. They overlooked the Leah that I knew and loved. 

Capitalism perpetuates trauma

When someone dies, or even commits a crime, our society chooses to focus on a person’s problems – the addiction, the mental illness, their immigration status, or their housing situation. People forget that they are real people and their suffering is a direct result of callous government policies – which are often doing exactly what they were designed to do. 

Over the last week, we have seen the direct results of years of cruel government policies mixed with the corporate media’s vilification of people who are struggling.

Far-right racists terrorising cities across the country – and the sad thing is that many of them genuinely believe that immigrants coming over on boats are the problem rather than the processes in place which make it extremely difficult for anyone claiming asylum to reach the UK safely.

Our politicians say ‘stop the boats’ and the far right come running. 

We live in a capitalist system which perpetuates trauma. The racist violence we are seeing on the streets is a direct result of that. Our government underfunds vital services, the media demonises people who are struggling – and people need someone to blame.

Obviously, they are blaming the wrong people. We should be blaming the elite – the politicians, the billionaires, and the corporations who are all in each other’s back pockets. All of these people profit from other people’s suffering. The system is perpetuating trauma because it only has the wealthy in mind. 

Humanity

No matter how fucked up Leah’s circumstances were and how little hope she had – she was never angry or bitter. She never stopped trying to help other people – or make them feel seen. 

This week we have also seen hundreds of people coming together. We have seen pensioners protecting mosques and community clean ups in Middlesbrough and Hartlepool. Mosque volunteer’s even embraced far-right protesters in an attempt to find peace when their own Mosque was being targeted. 

I don’t know about anyone else, but I want to be more like Leah and those Mosque volunteers. Imagine if the politicians leading the country were a little more like them?

We can lose our faith in systems, politicians, and services. But we cannot lose our faith in humanity. 

Feature image via On Demand News – Youtube/ MetroUK – Tiktok