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#SwindonsSundaySermon: how’s that “government of service” going, Keir Starmer?

Rachael Swindon by Rachael Swindon
22 September 2024
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Correct me if I am wrong here, but prior to the July general election didn’t the master of mooching Keir Starmer pitch himself to the electorate as an honest and dutiful public servant that understood the importance of standards and ethics following fourteen years of Conservative corruption and cronyism?

It’s not refugees that are the problem, nor is it sick, disabled, poor, elderly, and vulnerable people. The problem is the ruling classes, the billionaires, and the freeloading, self-serving rich man’s playthings like the Taylor Swift devotee, Keir Starmer.

I doubt Starmer will ever see this, or particularly care if he did, but why didn’t he gift his £4,000 VIP ticket to see Ms Swift perform to a more deserving cause? Perhaps a child with a life-altering illness or disability?

Think about it for a moment. Starmer spent his entire campaign holding the Tories to a standard he is unable to maintain himself. All the talk of cleaning up politics was absolute bullshit.

Keir Starmer’s ‘government of service’

I cannot fathom how Keir Starmer can ever begin to think it is acceptable to target pensioners with cuts to their winter fuel allowance while pocketing football tickets, clothes and an £18,000 pair of spectacles from a Labour donor worth some £200 million.

Since December 2019, Keir Starmer has grasped £107,145 worth of freebies. This is more than any other member of parliament, and £67,000 more than second placed Lucy Powell, minister for something or another.

Is this what the junket-hooked underwhelming sack of mediocrity meant when he promised us all a “government of service”?

Of service to whom? Me? You? 99% of the British people? Absolutely not.

I cannot remember a prime minister beginning their term with such open flippancy towards serving themselves to a mind-boggling avalanche of freebies while literally killing pensioners in their thousands because of  “difficult decisions”.

Starmer could’ve prevented this crisis of his own making from escalating by simply agreeing to accept no further gifts. But he opted to double down and attempt to defend the indefensible.

It’s not even the amount of money that’s the biggest issue here, it is the simple principle of not helping yourself at the trough when there are so many of your own people unable to feed, heat, and clothe themselves.

If you ever have the misfortune of bumping into Keir Starmer at an Arsenal match, be sure not to shout “free Palestine” in front of him because he’s likely to ask for two of them.

Dripping in scandal and we’re only two months in

We’re not even three months into the age of beige, and Keir Starmer and his jumped-up band of right-of-centre grifters — desperately trying and catastrophically failing to pass themselves off as a credible government — are dripping in scandal, beyond anything that any of us could’ve possibly imagined just a short time ago.

Dodgy donors, access to influence and power for sale, slum landlords, kamikaze policy making, crashing in the polls, Starmer’s own top team briefing against him, his wife, and his chief of staff Sue Gray, enough freebies to set up his own stag do business, and who the hell could possibly sit through three hours of Coldplay and still be able to get up and face the world the following day?

Nobody is pretending that Keir Starmer is the first ever politician to be exposed as a greedy, trough-clearing parasite, of course. And like many of those before him, he isn’t actually breaking any rules.

If you ever want to find the most ludicrous explanation for the freebie hoarding from a politician, I urge you to see what David Lammy has to say:

The truth is that successive prime ministers, unless you’re a billionaire like the last one, do rely on political donations so they can look their best both in the hope of representing the country, if you’re in the opposition, or as prime minister.

Thanks David, that helps massively.

Twat.

When the millionaire Keir Starmer promised us he was the candidate of “change”, I don’t think any of us thought he was referring to his or his wife’s wardrobe, did they?

Difficult wardrobe decisions

Have the Starmer’s not heard of Primark, or George at Asda? If they’re so fucking hard up they end up in a situation whereby multi-millionaires are forced to clothe them, they need to make the very same difficult decisions that they expect us to make.

All jokes aside, I really hope the Starmer’s manage to get through the winter without needing their energy bills to be covered by Lord Ali, or worse still, the public purse.

Starmer’s second-in-command, Rachel Reeves, got us to pay for her energy bills. In fact, she claimed £4,400 from the public purse to cover her energy costs over the space of five years.

And then she went and stole £300 from the elderly.

In that same five year period, 162 Labour Party MPs claimed some £400,000 towards their own energy costs. None of them did anything wrong.

The hypocrisy, double standards, and skewed morality of the Labour Party is truly staggering, and Keir Starmer is taking a well-earned lashing for his pre-election pledge to be a whiter-than-white government of service.

Those of us that have followed the trials and tribulations of the Labour Party for some time won’t be shocked by Starmer’s inability to deliver on a pledge.

Starmer lied his way to the top of the Labour Party and he lied throughout his time as leader of the opposition. Are we really surprised to see Starmer squirming like a worm on the end of a hook less than three months into his tenure? Absolutely not.

In fact, it’s quite enjoyable watching a demonstrably dishonest British media kick ten barrels of shit out of a demonstrably dishonest Labour Party. Isn’t it called blue-on-blue warfare, or something like that?

Keir Starmer: pay the bloody money back

But there is no enjoyment to be had for the millions of older people set to have to choose between heating and eating as the winter approaches.

And what could be more galling for them than to witness the entirely-owned prime minister prancing around in his bought and paid for designer gear while they’re stressing if they can afford to buy themselves an extra cardigan from the charity shop for the colder months.

Keir Starmer must reconsider his approach to the acceptance of gifts. It’s no good him telling us he can’t go to a football match unless someone is picking up the tab for him. We don’t care.

Pay the money back and pay for your own bloody football tickets Mr Starmer, like millions of ordinary people do every week in support of their favourite team. Pocketing more than £35,000 worth of free football tickets is just plain greedy. Tory bastard.

I remember Jeremy Corbyn attending football matches at Arsenal, and also Liverpool FC with the then Shadow Chancellor, John McDonnell. No fanfare, no corporate hospitality, no donors. Just sat with the fans, enjoying the football.

Rumour has it, Jeremy even paid for his own cup of tea at half time:

Corbyn McDonnell at Arsenal

Featured image and additional image via Rachael Swindon

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