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US navy’s $13bn biggest aircraft carrier drowning in (literal) shit

Skwawkbox by Skwawkbox
25 February 2026
in Skwawkbox
Reading Time: 2 mins read
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The US navy’s biggest aircraft carrier, the $13bn USS Gerald R Ford, is in literal deep shit – because it’s toilets are crap.

After participating in Trump’s war crime abduction of Venezuela’s president Maduro, the ship was ordered to sail to threaten Iran on behalf of Israel’s ambitions of regional dominance. This means it has been at sea continually for eight months instead of its usual maximum of six. Despite the vessel’s huge price tag, its toilet system simply isn’t up to it. The system needs a frequent $4m acid flush to remain functional and hasn’t been getting it, so its 650 bogs are close to complete collapse, leading to 45-minute queues outside the few that still work.

THE PLANNED U.S. ATTACK ON IRAN has a hitch: most of the missile-targeting crew are queuing for toilets on the lead vessel, the USS Gerald R Ford.

This is not a joke. A set of emails was obtained by NPR, a US public broadcasting group, revealing that toilet wars have broken out… pic.twitter.com/2rbq7d5CK2

— Nury Vittachi (@NuryVittachi) February 23, 2026

The literal stink is reportedly causing rows and tension among the Ford’s roughly 4,500 crew. Their plight makes that of grimacing cabinet members and White House staffers, who recently had to rush reporters out of the Oval Office after Trump allegedly soiled himself, look cushy by comparison.

Oh dear. How sad. Never mind, eh.

Featured image via the Canary

Tags: US
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Comments 5

  1. Airlane1979 says:
    5 months ago

    How is this a surprise? The longstanding corruption of the military-industrial complex in the USA – and no doubt in other countries – means terrible design, cheap materials, rushed construction and sh***y results, as we see here. Yet the only solution US governments consider is spending yet more money, while the country doesn’t even have universal healthcare.

    Reply
  2. Ben Oldfield says:
    5 months ago

    The neoliberal way is to minimise work and maximize profit. Think them selves lucky that the radiation shielding is ok?

    Reply
  3. bushman says:
    5 months ago

    When there is a, true, socialist revolution there won’t be any need for aircraft carriers, or any other inhuman “shit” , thankfully.

    Reply
  4. Jennifer Drew says:
    5 months ago

    Hahahah – one can’t make up this nonsense . Stupid American engineers forgot the aircraft carrier has 4000 plus sailors so of course they need numerous toilets but hey save a few pence or was it cents by installing too few toilets!

    Never mind boys and girls your war against Iran can’t happen yet because you can’t use the toilets!

    Reply
  5. Gojo Bojo says:
    4 months ago

    The function of the carrier is not to process human shyt onboard, it’s to drop bombs on human shyt, in this case, the barbaric tryranical Islamic regime of Iran.
    At the end of the day people, it ‘all comes out in the end’ (hehe).

    Reply

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