Starmer’s speech made clear that his dad made one hell of a tool. It’s just an utterly useless one.

Who the hell is Keir Starmer? People were asking that before he was prime minister, and it’s still a mystery for many today. But one thing that’s clear for most now is that he’s a massive tool. A tool for the British state to keep supporting genocide – and a tool for the rich and powerful to keep squeezing the life out of the rest of us.

And who made that tool?

Well, that’s an answer Starmer keeps giving us, regardless of how little we want to hear it.

Starmer’s speech

In his speech to the 2025 Labour conference, Starmer turned the cringe up to 11 by yet again telling us about his dad’s toolmaking career, saying:

I think by now you know what he did for a living!

But then again – do you…

Do you really know the skill…

The craft…

The precision that goes into tool-making?

Something exceptionally Partridge about this speech pic.twitter.com/QZq88qCXYS

— Rivkah Brown (@rivkahbrown) October 1, 2025

Millionaire Starmer trying to convince us of his working-class heritage is utterly empty, of course, when he has failed Britain’s working class miserably. It’s even emptier when he has openly attacked people in some of the most vulnerable situations – including children, pensioners, and disabled people – all while gifting billions to unscrupulous corporations.

Cringe over substance

Starmer has faced intense criticism for focusing on pandering to the far right rather than keeping voters by actually DOING SOMETHING to save public services and the economy. But his speech was just more of the same failing strategy.

He thought, for example, that cringeworthily repeating the word ‘flag’ over and over would help. Or if that didn’t, maybe highlighting the glory of cultural success stories might rub some off on his flailing government. Or perhaps listing some weak, uninteresting achievements and rhetorically asking “Is that broken Britain, conference?” would somehow convince people the economy is not actually stuttering or the government isn’t trampling our freedoms to protect war criminals while handing more and more power to dangerous tech billionaires.

If you want to actually laugh rather than cry for a couple of minutes, this brilliant new video from Cassetteboy sums up perfectly just how much of an establishment tool Starmer really is: