The humiliations are mounting at the Tory conference of chaos

The Conservative Party’s 2025 conference has been one embarrassment after another. Nothing they’ve done has been as embarrassing as their 14 years in government, of course, but the mistakes are more obvious now, because the media is no longer carrying water for them:

Good morning from shadow home secretary Chris Philp’s keynote speech at Conservative Party conference.

“I hope the hangovers have begun to subside this morning,” he quipped as he opened. pic.twitter.com/UPPQlKqDz8

— Ben Bloch (@realBenBloch) October 7, 2025

If only the hangover from 14 years of Tory austerity faded so quickly.

Vanishing support

Going off the pictures, it really does look like the Tories can’t pull a crowd anymore:

Shadow Home Secretary Chris Philp tells a near-empty Tory conference hall that the UK will use “the freedoms we will gain from leaving ECHR”.

Where have we heard this little Britain/narrow English nationalist message before? #CPC25 pic.twitter.com/rEuSLNDDF7

— Gerry Hassan (@GerryHassan) October 7, 2025

Apparently the Tories can’t even convince their past leaders to attend:

The only ex Tory Party Leader showing up at the Conservative Party Conference is a dead one. I think they should take that as a sign ⚰️ #CPC25 pic.twitter.com/cTz7H3zSrH

— Dan (@DanLord78) October 6, 2025

They’ve gone from being a Margaret Thatcher tribute act to a Margaret Thatcher mausoleum.

Things looked a bit more full in this tiny pub room:

Half of the Conservative members think Badenoch shouldn’t lead the Tories into the next general election.

So that’s 6 people that support her. https://t.co/gsoob6yC5w

— Rachael Swindon (@Rachael_Swindon) October 6, 2025

Kemi Badenoch has denied they’re suffering ‘low turnout’:

Kemi Badenoch asked about the low turnout at Conservative Party conference describes it as “teeming” with members pic.twitter.com/A0jvuIe8Oq

— Adam Bienkov (@AdamBienkov) October 7, 2025

We’re not sure why we’re listening to Badenoch, however, as it came out she’s actually seeking to lead some country called ‘Britian’:

This will be the image that summarises Tory conference 2025. It’s so laden with symbolism, it’s hard to believe it’s real. pic.twitter.com/Dlbxvh5uri

— Nick Tyrone (@NicholasTyrone) October 7, 2025

The Tories are giving out bars of chocolate at their conference with ‘Britain’ spelled incorrectly

I’m not making this up pic.twitter.com/K6IiqhwDaV

— Basil the Great (@Basil_TGMD) October 6, 2025

We’re not sure where this “Britian” is, but maybe the Conservatives should be having their party conference there?

James Cleverly laughed off the ‘typo’ in what looked like another empty hall:

‘Why can’t you spell Britain?’
@NatashaC confronts @JamesCleverly on one of the most pressing issues to come out of the Conservative Party conference. pic.twitter.com/kyjpqG31td

— LBC (@LBC) October 6, 2025

A big theme of the conference has been the desperate one-upmanship of the flag shaggers:

Sadly minutes after this photograph was taken, Victoria was tied to the top of a lamppost by an elderly short sighted conference attendee. pic.twitter.com/7Blar0JlcT

— Florence Lox 🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 (@floboflo) October 6, 2025

“More 🇬🇧 flags!” #CPC25 pic.twitter.com/jMWHLYsQsF

— Cllr. Matthew Goodwin-Freeman (@MGoodwinFreeman) October 6, 2025

And finally, as highlighted here, the Tories are now so irrelevant that people don’t even care to protest them:

The fact Steve Bray hasn’t bothered is possibly the most damning indictment of the current Tory Party so far https://t.co/RFYPATQ7mR

— Dave Burke (@DaveBurke12) October 6, 2025

The death of the Conservative Party at its conference

I was a service worker in Manchester between 2008 and and 2012, and in that time I worked the Conservative Party conferences as a barman and waiter. Serving those events, I learned two things:

• William Hague looks considerably more oily in person than on TV.
• Tories are the absolute worst tippers.

When I say ‘worst’, what I mean is I went the entire night without a single tip. This was completely unheard of at any other event.

Say what you will about the horrendous hog-fests I worked, but they were at least well attended. Hopefully this time next year, we won’t even realise the conference is happening.

Featured image via LBC