Farage declares that he’s “on strike” at PMQs – not that he ever does his bloody job anyway

On Wednesday, during Prime Minister’s Questions (PMQs), Nigel Farage stood up to announce that he’s going on “strike”. The overblown man-baby doesn’t like the fact that all the other MPs keep criticising him, poor chap.

Unfortunately, in order for a strike to work, you’d have to do work that anybody would miss in the first place. But then, nobody would expect Farage to know that. After all, his record on workers’ rights is atrocious.

Dream big

During PMQs itself, as Starmer was preparing to speak, Farage said:

Every week at PMQs, I am attacked by the PM and Labour MPs, but have no right of reply. I am just a mere spectator. So I have decided to spectate from the public gallery today instead.

He later confirmed his plan to go sit in a slightly different place and boil his piss with GB News:

I shall listen to Prime Minister’s Questions from the gallery in the future. There is no point in being there. I am on strike. I will continue until I get a question.

First things first: complaining that he never gets to ask a question is absolutely bloody ridiculous. The 15 MPs who get to ask questions are determined at random by a computer program.

On top of that, the leader of the opposition gets to ask six questions. Despite what Farage seems to believe in his sad little head (and most of the mainstream media along with him), he isn’t the leader of the opposition. That was still Kemi Badenoch with 119 Tory seats, last we checked.

But wait! The leader of the third largest party can also ask three questions. That’d be Ed Davey and his 72 Lib Dem seats. Reform are, in fact, tied for the fifth largest party. Sixth, if you care to count the Independents. They’re tied with the fucking DUP, for Christ’s sake.

Farage seems to have mistaken the fact that the media are paying attention to him, and the fact that his party of racist layabouts are doing well in the polls, for having already won an election that remains several years off. Until that time, he’d do well to remember that the only thing Reform is leading on is… recent local council wins. And, of course, racist spats.

When there’s an urgent ministerial question regarding parking charges and a new roof on the town hall, hopefully someone will ask him.

Don’t work, won’t work

What’s more, Farage’s threat not to turn up and do his job would carry a bit more bite if it wasn’t his usual state of being. Back when he was an MEP, his attendance rate was absolutely rock-bottom. Alright, he was in the ‘We hate the EU’ party, and he didn’t turn up to the European Parliament – so what?

Well, he doesn’t actually turn up or do anything other than whinge now he’s a British MP, either. He doesn’t speak or vote in parliament even when he gets the opportunity. Worse, he doesn’t spend any time in his actual constituency, Clacton, either.

The Reform leader claimed that the House Speaker had advised him not to hold the in-person surgeries in his constituency due to security concerns. However, it emerged one month later that this was a bare-faced lie, and the Speaker had told him no such thing. Farage just doesn’t like doing his fucking job.

For a threat of not doing your job to work, you’ve got to actually do your job in the first place, buddy. Even if your job is to sit there while people point out that your policies look like they were scrawled on a beer mat.

Luv Britain, ‘ate workers, ’nuff said

Not that Farage would know what a decent strike is if it came up and slapped him with a placard, mind you.

On some of the rare occasions the man actually showed up to the European Parliament, he repeatedly voted against workers’ interests. He opposed increased maternity and paternity leave (gender equality!), pro-union bargaining measures, and the Working Time Directive. But then, who doesn’t hate the protected right to take a piss at work, eh?

Then, when he finally got his beloved Brexit, Farage and his underlings immediately set about destroying the rights that the EU guaranteed to workers. This included cutting regulations for businesses, and lowering health and safety standards for employees in the process.

More recently still, Farage and the Reform MPs opposed Labour’s Employment Rights Bill. This would give workers access to day-one sick pay, ban zero-hours contracts, and make it harder for employers to “fire and rehire” their employees.

So, sure Farage, you’re “on strike”. Consider joining a union while you’re at it – you might bloody learn something.

Featured image via the Canary