I do tend to find elections so much more meaningless now I no longer have any batter in that particular waffle maker. Populist anti-Jonny-Foreigner movement and Farage vehicle Reform UK had a good night. Only a fool would suggest otherwise.
But it really does help if you have a rabid right-wing media supporting and promoting you morning, noon and night, doesn’t it?
What is a Farage supporter called…?
If a Corbyn supporter is a Corbynite, a Starmer supporter is a Starmerite, and a Thatcher supporter is a Thatcherite, what does that make a supporter of Farage?
You’ve got it. A fucking deluded twat with the critical thinking skills of a brain stem dead goldfish.
It’s worth pointing out, the same corporate media that wants you to vote for Nigel Farage also wanted you to vote for Keir Starmer, Boris Johnson and Tony Blair.
How did that turn out?
Some people may well be utterly baffled by the British media’s long-held obsession with the human version of a yeast infection, Nigel Farage. Don’t be. Farage is the change they wish to see in us. It is no more complicated than that. Nobody is forced to believe them, but the media and Farage excel in playing to people’s prejudices.
Look at it this way. Just imagine that I have been selling top-of-the-range sports cars for the past five decades. Let’s say I sold you a lovely little Ford Escort XR3i, back in the days of Duran Duran and Frank Bruno.
After a few years, the wheels fall off your car, the engine blows up, and you’re left with a dangerous and inadequate pile of junk on your driveway.
You come back to me, not very impressed, but what can you do when the car is way past it’s warranty?
Stick a pony in me pocket
So I sell you another car with a bit of a discount. This time it is a beautiful little BMW, and you have my word that it is immeasurably better than the clapped-out, unreliable Ford.
A few years down the line, you’re back in my showroom. The BMW has just been scrapped for the price of tin of Heinz beans, and you’re in the market for a replacement.
This scenario is repeated, every few years, and you are massively out of pocket, so why would you keep coming back to me to buy your dream car when I have proven, time and time again, that my soul motivation is self-interest?
Why would you trust me to sell you a car now, when every single car that I have ever sold to you in the past has been an utter pile of crap that has repeatedly let you down?
Sorry folks, I’m trying to explain this in terms to voters that only tend to concern themselves with rubber dinghies and child predators. It’s a thankless task.
There’s very little point in ripping into their toad-featured Führer, Farage. These fucking douches love the bloke to the point of them having his ugly mug tattooed on their bodies.
Britain’s continued relationship with apathy is for a very good reason. Farage, Starmer and the rest of the establishment lickspittles are that very reason.
Yes, you get what you vote for, but what about the silent majority that don’t vote for anything or anyone? Are we really supposed to believe they’re all raging Tommy Robinson fans?
Disconnect, capitalist-style
Not in my experience. I tend to find good people with compassion and decency in abundance, but this is outweighed by their complete disconnection with our failed political system and politicians like Farage.
VE Day, who I was shocked to learn isn’t the name of a children’s author, was an extra special celebration this year. Why was it extra special? Because 80 has a zero on the end of it.
Can there be a more fitting way to say “let’s remember our fallen heroes” by ordering a shit tonne of Union flags on Temu and shifting them for a tidy profit on eBay and Facebook marketplace?
The commercialisation and glorification of war is completely lost on me. I understand the importance of remembering the departed, of course, but the national dick-waving contest just doesn’t sit well with me.
Maybe you really want a very British Dame Vera Lynn commemorative plate, lovingly designed in the Cotswolds and hand finished in Yiwu in the Zhenjiang Province?
Erm… thanks for the ashtray.
Or perhaps you have already ordered your worthless but very British VE Day coin, minted in Guangdong, and offered to you by a trusted friend in former newsreader, Michael Burke. Yours for just £89.99 or three easy payments with Klarna.
Can I use it to pay for my shopping?
And then there’s the very British aforementioned union flags, free with six tokens from your ‘patriotic’ S*n, mass produced in Dhaka by children that should be at school, rather than being ruthlessly exploited to increase the wealth of the already-wealthy.
Anyone would think that capitalism is built upon modern day slavery…
From Farage to Trump: what a mess
As I come to the end of another dose of diatribe for the week, I think it is important that we stand back and ask what Keir Starmer said or did to secure a “historic” trade deal with the nectarine neofascist in the White House.
Interestingly, neither Trump from the land of the free or Starmer from the land of the freebies were actually elected by a majority of their voters. But that’s a whole other piece for a brand new day.
This historic deal was always going to happen. Britain turned its back on our nearest and most reliable partners, the EU, and isolated Starmer would rather deal with Trump — to the pleasure of the fruitcake right and Farage — than drag us back to the divisive issue of Brexit and most likely damage the Labour Party beyond repair.
Starmer thinks that he had no choice but to do a deal with the devil himself.
Across the pond, Peter Mandelson, the known associate of Jeffrey Epstein, has been hailed as the difference maker in getting a deal done with Donald Trump, the known associate of Jeffrey Epstein.
Shocked, I tell thee.
Perhaps you didn’t need to kiss that wrinkly old arse quite so hard, Mr Starmer?
Featured image via the Canary
