May to leave by autumn (unless she’s lying (which she usually is))

Theresa May has said she’ll be gone by autumn. She’s said other things in the past. Guess how many she stuck to?

If you guessed ‘0’, you may have won a prize. Well done. According to our honest PM, that puts you in line for a £1m payout.

Broken promises

May has frequently failed to live up to her word. She’s previously promised to:

• Be a good prime minister.
• Have the first clue what she’s doing.
• Do a Brexit.
• Not hold an election.
• Win an election.
• Somehow cobble together a government despite losing her majority.
• Eat chips like a human being.

If I said how Theresa May eats chips shows she's unfit to govern, Tories would call me bonkers. It's literally what happened to Ed Miliband pic.twitter.com/ZUzhEOZ02c

— Owen Jones (@owenjonesjourno) May 2, 2017

To be fair, she has kept some promises. Like all Tories, she’s upheld the party’s dedication towards:

• Fucking the poor.
• Fucking the marginalised.
• Fucking everyone on less than £100k per annum.

She also followed in the proud Tory tradition of giving ministerial positions to the people least capable of fulfilling them.

Let her be clear

May’s promise tells us one thing: she definitely won’t be going in autumn. She might get booted out before then, or she might leave in winter. Leaving on time just isn’t on the cards.

Unless of course hell freezes over. Which it might, given the Tories’ continued fucking of the environment. Another right-wing promise they’ve kept.

Featured image via Flickr – DFID UK Department for International Development