After losing record-breaking vote, PM vows to lose the next one on a pogo stick

A distraught looking Theresa May with fireworks going off around her and the Guinness World Records logo


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On 15 January, Theresa May suffered the largest ever government loss in the Commons, and the biggest Tory rebellion of the modern era. So what’s left for her now?

Well, according to the woman herself:

I can’t be the best PM in history, but I can sure as heck be the worst! Let’s keep these records coming! Woo!

Record breaker

May admits she may not be able to lose bigger than last night, but she does have a few other ideas:

How about I lose the next vote on a pogo stick? And while I’m on the pogo stick, I’m juggling Brexit impact assessments? And as I’m juggling, I’m downing 2 litre bottles of fizzy pop?

 

She added:

Read on...

That would be a real record, right? That would mean I did something? That would mean I have worth?

A spokesperson from Guinness had something to say about this:

It’s really just overkill at this point. She’s already going in the next World Record Book as the worst PM in living memory. The only reason she’s not worst overall is because of what Cavendish did to those poor otters.

Desperation

Not one to give up on a stupid idea, May has said she aims to replace Cavendish. David Cameron, meanwhile, has said he doesn’t regret calling the referendum – even in light of May’s plan to re-invade Iraq on a space hopper.

Featured image via YouTube / pxhere

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