Independent Media | Campaigning Journalism
Theresa May ready to say the word ‘compromise’ a lot
Over the course of her career, Theresa May has shown herself to be pretty much incapable of compromise. Not because she’s tough or knows what she wants; it’s more like a toxic mix of privilege and middling intellect has rendered her incapable of understanding her own failings.
She’s now come to the end of the line, however, and has to work with others. Her idea of how to do that is basically just saying the word ‘compromise’ a lot.
Compromise
A leaked conversation between May and Jeremy Corbyn went as follows:
TM: How about you compromise by agreeing to my deal?
JC: How is that a compromise?
TM: You’d be agreeing to support me, and I’d be agreeing to agree to that.
JC: That isn’t how compromise works.
TM: Yes, compromise.
JC: …
TM: Compromise?
JC: You can’t just say the word ‘compromise’ – you have to actually shift your position.
TM: What if I shout it? COMPROMISE! COMPROMISE!
JC: *GROANS AUDIBLY*
TM: I could sing it?
JC: Please don’t.
Cross parties
It’s very likely that May is running down the clock so politicians are left with a choice between her deal and no deal. It’s very likely, because that’s her only strategy. The other option is she comes up with a new plan, and May just doesn’t roll like that.
Featured image via YouTube – Guardian News
Get involved
- For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.
We need your help ...
The coronavirus pandemic is changing our world, fast. And we will do all we can to keep bringing you news and analysis throughout. But we are worried about maintaining enough income to pay our staff and minimal overheads.
Now, more than ever, we need a vibrant, independent media that holds the government to account and calls it out when it puts vested economic interests above human lives. We need a media that shows solidarity with the people most affected by the crisis – and one that can help to build a world based on collaboration and compassion.
We have been fighting against an establishment that is trying to shut us down. And like most independent media, we don’t have the deep pockets of investors to call on to bail us out.
Can you help by chipping in a few pounds each month?
Support us -
Show Comments
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to leave a comment.Join the conversationPlease read our comment moderation policy here.