‘Milkshaking’ Tommy Robinson replaces football as the national pastime

Increasing close ups of a milkshaked Tommy Robinson
John Shafthauer


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For the second time in as many days, Stephen Yaxley Lennon -aka Tommy Robinson – has had a milkshake thrown at him. The second one hit. But it did more than just that. It brought together a fractured nation, as people looked at the tiny, milk-covered bigot and thought:

Yes. This is it. This is the British culture UKIP says doesn’t exist anymore.

As such, ‘milkshaking the fash’ is set to become the new national pastime.

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Fash free milk

Several fast food chains are now offering a discount on milkshakes. As said chains are themselves quite terrible, this is probably more of a marketing ploy than anything.

The fash are complaining that hurling shakes at them makes them look stupid. This isn’t true. It’s their incredibly vocal opinions that make them look stupid. The drinks simply cover them in milk.

Some people worried that tossing thick beverages at thick bigots makes you as bad as the fascists. And this might be true. Because who could forget when the Nazis lined their enemies up and subjected them to mild humiliation by milkshake? No one, that’s who.

Tradition

Commentators predict the custom could eventually become the new Guy Fawkes night. In the future, children will toss milkshakes at angry dolls to remember when bigots roamed the nation.

Hopefully, that fash-free future comes sooner rather than later.

Featured image via screengrab

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    1. I am shocked that this article clearly expresses the opinion that it’s just a good laugh when someone campaigning to become a member of the European parliament has a large amount of an unknown liquid suddenly and very deliberately thrown into their face in public, after which the police do do nothing about it, even though the incident was clearly filmed, and the media do nothing but mock the victim. If it wasn’t for the principled stand which you take on most issues I wouldn’t be so surprised and disappointed, but in this case it is apparent that The Canary needs better editorial control and owes this man a public apology.

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