Independent Media | Campaigning Journalism
PM hopefuls unveil plans to facilitate no-deal Brexit with the money we don’t have
Many people are worried about the effects of no-deal Brexit – primarily because we know what they’ll be. The PM hopefuls Jeremy Hunt and Boris Johnson have tried to paper over people’s concerns by offering up some cash. This creates a problem. Because if we have money for a no-deal Brexit, how come we don’t have money for un-idiotic things?
Show us the money
Hunt defended the promise, claiming Philip Hammond has amassed a ‘Brexit war chest’. When asked where he’d got the money to amass anything, Hunt said:
Umm… we found some money… in a tree? But not a magic money tree! There is no magic money tree – I really can’t stress that enough
It was pointed out to Hunt that we’ll also need a lot of money for this war with Iran he’s been promoting, to which he replied:
Ah, well we’ll get that money from the ‘war-war chest’. And we got the money for that from… a second tree… which also isn’t magical.
Command and plonker
When asked why we couldn’t spend this money on the NHS instead of fighting America’s wars for them, Hunt said:
Because America’s saving up to buy the NHS.
Read on...
Support us and go ad-free
Realising he’d said too much, he added:
And of course, by ‘buy the NHS’, I mean ‘not buy the NHS’.
He then said the only four words that actually matter in this Tory leadership contest:
Brexit good, Corbyn bad.
Featured image via Wikimedia – EU2017 Estonian Presidency / Flickr – Foreign and Commonwealth Office
Get involved
- For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.
Do your bit for independent journalism
Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.
We need you to help out, if you can.
When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.
You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.
In return you get:
- Advert free reading experience
- Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
- 20% discount from our shop
Fund us -
Show Comments
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to leave a comment.Join the conversationPlease read our comment moderation policy here.
._Round_table_Boris_Johnson_(36913612672)_(cropped).jpg){kind=link}