Jeremy Hunt began this leadership race a loser and he’ll end it a loser. He doesn’t seem to get that, though. This is why he’s making a series of increasingly unhinged promises to the Tory membership.
Over the past 24 hours, Hunt has promised to:
- Send our troops back to the Falklands/Normandy/the Crusades.
- Give tax rebates to tax dodgers.
- Construct a statue of Margaret Thatcher in every supermarket car park.
- Replace the NHS with a giant whipping machine that’s treadmill-powered by the ‘plebs’ it whips.
- Start a bidding war for Scotland between Cuba and North Korea.
- Use science to bring back extinct animals so that rich twats can hunt them back to extinction.
- Use science to bring back Alf Garnett and record 1,000 more episodes, but this time without the satire.
- Enact something called ‘MEGA BREXIT’.
So far, none of these promises has won him any favour.
It would be easy to feel sorry for Hunt. Oh no – wait – it wouldn’t, would it? Because this is the guy who spent the best years of his life gleefully trashing the NHS.
Although it’s a travesty that we’re going to end up with PM Johnson, it has at least been fun watching his rivals get their dreams crushed.
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