Hunt promises to promise anything if people just vote for him

Jeremy Hunt began this leadership race a loser and he’ll end it a loser. He doesn’t seem to get that, though. This is why he’s making a series of increasingly unhinged promises to the Tory membership.

Promises, promises 

Over the past 24 hours, Hunt has promised to:

• Send our troops back to the Falklands/Normandy/the Crusades.
• Give tax rebates to tax dodgers.
• Construct a statue of Margaret Thatcher in every supermarket car park.
• Replace the NHS with a giant whipping machine that’s treadmill-powered by the ‘plebs’ it whips.
• Start a bidding war for Scotland between Cuba and North Korea.
• Use science to bring back extinct animals so that rich twats can hunt them back to extinction.
• Use science to bring back Alf Garnett and record 1,000 more episodes, but this time without the satire.
• Enact something called ‘MEGA BREXIT’.

So far, none of these promises has won him any favour.

Total Hunt

It would be easy to feel sorry for Hunt. Oh no – wait – it wouldn’t, would it? Because this is the guy who spent the best years of his life gleefully trashing the NHS.

Although it’s a travesty that we’re going to end up with PM Johnson, it has at least been fun watching his rivals get their dreams crushed.

Featured image via Chris McAndrew – Wikimedia / Flickr – Rupert Colley