Crime still illegal even if you commit it ‘patriotically’, Robinson discovers
A judge has found Stephen Yaxley-Lennon (AKA Tommy Robinson) guilty of contempt of court. This is despite him assuring the judge that he was “one of the best patriots going”.
Indefensible
Robinson offered a number of unique defences. He claimed his ‘patriotism’ should make him immune to any crime. Examples of his patriotism included the fact that he:
- Owns the complete DVD collection of Only Fools and Horses and has started making his way through the extras.
- Always wears a Union Jack thong.
- Sings “it’s coming home” every time the England squad gets so much as a throw-in.
- Trashes the European bistro he’s in every time the team playing the England squad gets so much as a throw-in.
- Sings the national anthem to conclude a long night of cocaine abuse.
- Only ‘cracks off’ to vintage pics of Page 3 girl Sam Fox.
- Is cynically using the crimes committed by Muslims to wage a culture war against all non-white people in the interest of achieving racial purity.
Verdict
The judge described Yaxley-Lennon’s vision of ‘patriotism’ as:
Tawdry, depressing, pig-headed, criminal, and racist.
Yaxley-Lennon replied:
Yeah, that’s what I’m saying, so how come you won’t let me off?
Read on...
Featured image via YouTube
Get involved
- For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.
We know everyone is suffering under the Tories - but the Canary is a vital weapon in our fight back, and we need your support
The Canary Workers’ Co-op knows life is hard. The Tories are waging a class war against us we’re all having to fight. But like trade unions and community organising, truly independent working-class media is a vital weapon in our armoury.
The Canary doesn’t have the budget of the corporate media. In fact, our income is over 1,000 times less than the Guardian’s. What we do have is a radical agenda that disrupts power and amplifies marginalised communities. But we can only do this with our readers’ support.
So please, help us continue to spread messages of resistance and hope. Even the smallest donation would mean the world to us.
-
Show Comments
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to leave a comment.Join the conversationPlease read our comment moderation policy here.
All I know about the law is from watching “Crown Court” and “Rumpole” in the 70s, but even I know that you can’t take pictures of people leaving a court because you might be “jury nobbling”; they don’t even allow filming outside the Old Bailey at street level, they usually use the Law Courts in the Strand (where they don’t have jury trials) to double for the Bailey in tv shows. Robinson ought to try watching more television than just “Celebrity Love Island” or whatever it is.
I must correct you there, stangya. I’ve filmed outside at street level for major broadcasters.