A judge has found Stephen Yaxley-Lennon (AKA Tommy Robinson) guilty of contempt of court. This is despite him assuring the judge that he was “one of the best patriots going”.
Robinson offered a number of unique defences. He claimed his ‘patriotism’ should make him immune to any crime. Examples of his patriotism included the fact that he:
- Owns the complete DVD collection of Only Fools and Horses and has started making his way through the extras.
- Always wears a Union Jack thong.
- Sings “it’s coming home” every time the England squad gets so much as a throw-in.
- Trashes the European bistro he’s in every time the team playing the England squad gets so much as a throw-in.
- Sings the national anthem to conclude a long night of cocaine abuse.
- Only ‘cracks off’ to vintage pics of Page 3 girl Sam Fox.
- Is cynically using the crimes committed by Muslims to wage a culture war against all non-white people in the interest of achieving racial purity.
The judge described Yaxley-Lennon’s vision of ‘patriotism’ as:
Yeah, that’s what I’m saying, so how come you won’t let me off?
Featured image via YouTube
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