The winner of the leadership TV debate declared to be ‘people who didn’t watch’

Boris Johnson and Jeremy Hunt looking bored
John Shafthauer

Boris Johnson and Jeremy Hunt debated on 9 July. But who won? Well, as the Tory membership has already decided to go Johnson or go home – the winner was whoever avoided watching.

State of affairs 

Hunt continued his strategy of answering as if every question was ‘what do the Tory membership want to hear?’ This meant responses like:

I’m… tough on crime? I’m tough on Iran? I’ll be firm with Trump? I’ll do whatever Trump wants? I’ll dress like a giant chicken and practice auto-erotic asphyxiation? I’ll cull squirrels to reduce TB in postmen? I’ll gentrify Hadrian’s wall?

Johnson, meanwhile, continued his strategy of not really needing a strategy because he’s already ‘won’. This meant answers like:

Well yes, I should probably something.

And:

Could somebody call me a taxi?

Off the hook

As both Johnson and Hunt have spent the last decade in and out of office, the two men could have faced questions like:

So the NHS is fucked. Why don’t you explain yourself, Hunt?

And:

So Garden Bridge was a load of old bollocks. Why don’t you explain yourself, Johnson?

Or:

So the country’s fucked. Have either of you two clowns considered just fucking off?

That they didn’t shows why the true winner of this debate was the people who didn’t watch.

Featured image via YouTube – Sky News

Get involved

We need your help ...

The coronavirus pandemic is changing our world, fast. And we will do all we can to keep bringing you news and analysis throughout. But we are worried about maintaining enough income to pay our staff and minimal overheads.

Now, more than ever, we need a vibrant, independent media that holds the government to account and calls it out when it puts vested economic interests above human lives. We need a media that shows solidarity with the people most affected by the crisis – and one that can help to build a world based on collaboration and compassion.

We have been fighting against an establishment that is trying to shut us down. And like most independent media, we don’t have the deep pockets of investors to call on to bail us out.

Can you help by chipping in a few pounds each month?

The Canary Support us