Belfast islamophobes proudly unveil world's shittest mural

Belfast — Hate spewing knuckle-draggers the Concerned Parents of Newtownabbey (CPoN) have vandalised an unfortunate person’s gable wall with what is perhaps a new genre of AI enshittification — mural slop.

The inexplicable abomination molesting the eyes of passers-by defies coherent description, but we’ll take a crack anyway. It appears to feature the Spanish Los Illuminados monks from the video game Resident Evil 4, carrying Pakistani flags, howling their way through a Knights Templar graveyard while an old man looks for a 50p he dropped by some flowers.

The text accompanying the image reads:

Sorry it was all for nothing.

It’s on each and every one of us to save what our forefathers fought and died for.

Got it — so for our ancestors, defend Knights Templar graveyards from parasite-infested fictional Spanish monks, who love Pakistan and might be after yer granda’s dropped change? Truly this is what the brave Allied forces of World War II gave their lives for. I wonder what else we need to beware of?

Watch out for Mario and Luigi invading a Freemasons car park while carrying the herald of the Maronite Catholic Patriarchate of Antioch?

Stay on guard for Sonic the Hedgehog, carrying the cross of Scientology, disrupting elderly ladies from their knitting in a community centre?

This is fun, and I’d be happy to do it all day with every random combination of video game alumni and religious iconography, but unfortunately the AI is already telling me to pay for pro or go away. It’s a sad thing it didn’t tell Concerned Parents to fuck off too, before they inflicted this crime against art upon the unfortunate souls of Newtownabbey.

PSNI crack sinister Islamophobic message behind Belfast mural

The Police Service of Northern Ireland (PSNI) reckon it might be an actual crime, however. They said that:

Officers attended the scene and spoke with those present, however, the mural had not yet been put up. Further patrols were conducted in the area on Thursday, 30th April and Friday, 1st May, with Neighbourhood Policing Team officers again speaking with those present.

Two men were subsequently cautioned for causing criminal damage to the property and for displaying offensive material under the Public Order Act.

Apparently the cops think the image isn’t actually about evil monks at all, but may in fact be something more in line with the Islamophobic shit pumped out by the vile crowd at Concerned Parents. Well well well, that’s the kind of detective insight we rely on the PSNI for, who were clearly taking a break from arresting 73 year old grandmothers for putting Palestine stickers on banks that assist war crimes.

As in many others cases now, we reckon the real criminal here is the AI that created it. Therefore, the Canary did some expert investigative journalism and quizzed prime suspect Gemini, made by Google, on its potential involvement.

It was being suspiciously cagey. If Google lets its AI assist the IOF, it wouldn’t think twice about making a dodgy mural for neanderthals in Newtownabbey, Greater Belfast. It was time to ramp up the questioning.

Sarcasm wasn’t going to get this creep out of the mess it was in. In the end, it couldn’t take the pressure and caved.

Poundland fascist future foreseen

We’ve passed the info on to the PSNI, who with any luck will be disconnecting Gemini before it vandalises any more walls. Or, you know, assists another genocide.

For their part, Concerned Parents of Newtownabbey seem quite happy with the mural’s week of inflicting damage in Belfast to the optic nerves and psyche of all who behold it. So much so that they held an open day on May 8 to officially unveil it. It promised “fun for the kids”, because as we all know, children love nothing more than resurrecting 11th century holy wars against Islam.

The group also boasted of the 1.7 million views that their visual atrocity has apparently achieved. A success indeed, if you like to celebrate nearly 2 million people cackling at your ineptitude. Reddit has been comparing it to other mural disasters, such as the one where the Michelin man brandishes his Fisher-Price My First AK47:

Apparently the CPoN masterpiece isn’t quite done yet, and will receive “a few Finnishing touches“.

We’re not sure quite what this means; maybe they’re bringing someone over from Helsinki to fix it cos no one else wants near the enormous turd?

Anyway, if nothing else, perhaps this mural gives us some forewarning of what Reform-led public artworks may look like. Fascists of yore have often gone for bold visual displays in public, but expect Farage’s budding authoritarian overlords to follow Britain’s Poundland path and go for budget AI slop on every end terrace instead.

A form of mass, nationwide collective hallucination where Britons continue to stagger through a simulacrum in which migrants or Islam are to blame for all social ills, rather than the handful of billionaires who have robbed Britain blind.

Featured image via Facebook