US releases discussion points for the Trump / Kim summit

Donald Trump saying to Kim Jong-un: "Justin Trudeau was very unfair to me. Did you see me on The Apprentice? I have the best words" - US releases discussion points for the Trump / Kim summit
John Shafthauer

Summits like the one between Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un usually take months of careful planning – primarily to avoid either party attaining a benefit the other hadn’t anticipated.

The fact that the Trump/Kim summit has been arranged on the fly shouldn’t concern you, however. It’s the fact that Trump couldn’t stick to a plan even if he had one that’s the biggest worry. Although the US does at least have some potential talking points.

Chatty man

According to the White House, Trump intends to:

  • Ask if Kim follows President Trump on Twitter.
  • Have a discussion about all the people who were very unfair to President Trump.
  • Golf.
  • Compare hands to prove President Trump doesn’t have weirdly small extremities.
  • Discuss some other people who were very unfair to President Trump.
  • Offer a lengthy description of the size of President Trump’s inauguration crowd.
  • Break for colouring-in time.
  • Discuss even more people who were very unfair to President Trump.
  • Golf again.
  • Have a further break for nap time.
  • Give a scene-by-scene breakdown of President Trump’s most hated Saturday Night Live sketches.
  • Break for executive time.
  • Hiss like a bobcat at the gathered media for 20 minutes.
  • Break for Covfefe time.
  • Have a no-holds-barred conversation about the relationship of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.

  • Discuss nuclear disarmament (if there’s time).

Uh oh

If you’re worried that Trump will actually discuss all these points, you shouldn’t be. The man is incapable of sticking to a plan.

If anything, he’ll talk about something worse.

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Featured image via Kim Wing Summialo / Wikimedia

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John Shafthauer