President Trump hands his Brexit plan over to Boris Johnson

Donald Trump asking "Have you tried making Mexico pay for it?" Trump Brexit plan
Support us and go ad-free

Boris Johnson recently suggested President Trump take over Brexit for us. Although Theresa May wasn’t too happy about the idea:

Regardless of May’s concerns, Trump has now provided us with what he described as:

The best breakfast plan ever [sic]. Seriously.

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

Thanks

The hastily scribbled plan came written on the back of a cheeseburger wrapper. It advised:

  1. Tell those sneaky Eurotrash that if they don’t give in to your demands, you’ll separate from mainland Europe. Threaten to build a sea between England and France, and tell them Belgium is paying for it.
  2. Isn’t Harry Potter British? Can he cast a spell at that angry European woman who doesn’t like me? I think her name is Theresa May.
  3. Tell the EU they’re all big losers, and you don’t need them anyway, because your buddy America will look out for you. What you don’t know is that we’re gonna turn your country into a Trump-brand golf course – ha ha ha [THIS SECOND PART WAS SCRIBBLED OUT BUT STILL QUITE CLEARLY LEGIBLE].
  4. I’ll be honest – I’m not entirely sure what the EU is. That’s a good thing, though. Facts will slow you down!
  5. Don’t leave without getting the oil.
  6. Hmm, I need to ask Donald Trump Jr. why I started this list.
  7. I wonder what Stormy Daniels is up to these days? I had sex with her, you know. Bigly.
  8. I’ll have ketchup on all of that, thanks.
  9. Love Donald Trump (The President).

All proposals 

The UK’s Brexit team is said to be considering Trump’s suggestions. Although they are worried the plan is a bit too detailed for them.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via Gage Skidmore – Flickr / Irinawave – Wikimedia

Support us and go ad-free

Do your bit for independent journalism

Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.

We need you to help out, if you can.

When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.

You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.

In return you get:

  • Advert free reading experience
  • Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
  • 20% discount from our shop

 

The Canary Fund us

Comments are closed